Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

05 November 2010

Bumper Sticker Stupids!

I hate when i see this shit.... and this is real. While on lunch today I ran to bank to deposit Mike's bonus check as well as stop at Wendys for a nummy tripple with cheese, I came across this...

I don't get the need to express one's point of view in bumber sticker form. Okay, I'm all for politcal candidates but all this shit is all about abortion and the rapture. Do they really think they are changing minds with this?

One bumper sticker is bad enough... but this is just nucking futs!

06 August 2009

Clash of the (FALSE!) Gods


This'll be short. So there's this new show on the History Channel called Clash of the Gods. I've only seen the first episode which is all about Zues.

I really expected them to simply talk about the old pagan religions and never mention modern religion, specifically Christianity.

Oh no. Not only do they mention Christianity. They often treat it as if it's 100% true and accurate. For example, "Zues was seen as the one and only all powerful God... and this was two thousand years before Christ." Pfffst.

However, it's not all bad. They do not shy away from mentioning the connections between pagan myths and Christian and Jewish myths. Like comparing Zues's birth story to Jesus's.

Things like this are mentioned, "Hades is like our hell" or "Their creation myth is what the Greeks had before the availability of the book of Genesis."

Really!?

It's actually quite schizo. I can't figure out from where this show's viewpoint is coming from. It's a pretty good show and is informative... but sometimes it will rub you in the wrong direction in it's clear attempt not to piss of Christians. Funny, I notice that they don't bend over backwards to appease Muslims? Funny...



Oh and I just gotta throw in this quote, "Some believe that this statue [found in Dion, Grece] could be a missing link between Greece's worship of many Gods, and the single-god philosophy of Christians and Jews... Greek's were embracing the idea of one god before the arrival of Christianity."

They seem to be treating all other religions as stepping stones to the truth, Christianity. What the fuck? As if religions have been evolving toward the perfection of the Jesus cults. ::snort::

I myself don't consider Christianity to be a single-god religion but a three god religion (father, son, ghost). I think it's convenient that they don't mention that Islam is a single-god religion... and that's the #1 first tenant of Islam (there is no other God besides Allah and Muhammad was his prophet).

Hey, maybe religions are evolving. Many gods to three gods to one god to no gods!

25 June 2009

RIP Michael Jackson & Perez Is A Douchebag

This is not gonna be your typical RIP Michael Jackson post. It is a tragedy and is terribly sad, especially for his family and the fans who had purchased his tickets. But one thing we can remember is Michael Jackson was surely a tortured soul and had major internal issues that he no longer must suffer with. At least we can say that he's no longer suffering. He was an inspiration for multiple generations and he changed the world, moving millions of musicians to produce amazing music. RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009.

Now onto the douche. Perez Hilton.

If you're not familiar with him, he's got a website where he draws cum on celebrity faces and calls the thinnest celebrities fat cows (he himself being a fat cow). At the beginning his site was funny and quickly updated. Now it's total shit. He'll call Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson fat... then he'll turn around and talk about how terrible teen eating disorders are. He's done a lot of douchey things but within the last few days he's gone overboard. And you won't believe what he said about Michael Jackson.

Well, the first douchey thing he did was call Will.I.Am a faggot. The Black Eyed Peas's manager got so pissed he punched Perez in the face. So GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), demanded him to appologize for saying "faggot" (especially considering that Perez himself is gay and has recieved GLAAD awards).

Did he appologize? No. He said he was sorry to his fans (lol) but not to Will.I.Am. Not to mention, he freaked out because people started saying things like "well, you deserved it" or "when you call people names and spread rumors for a living, this is what you get." Now he's playing the victim because he got hit. Of course he doesn't care about of the mental abuse he puts on people.

So today, Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital and Perez posted this:

"We knew something like this would happen!!
Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!
His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!
We are dubious!!
Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ‘95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal!
He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!
Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!
Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!"

Did he appologize? No. Did he do anything? Yes! He deleted what he posted hoping that nobody would notice. What a fucking douche.

If there's one thing I can't stand it's a person who says something completely fucking terrible and decides he's such an assholey-douchebag that he won't appologize. What a fucking baby! And he's shocked that we are so sad that he got punched. I hope somebody punches him again.

23 May 2009

Scientists Don't Even Believe In Evolution!

Gosh. CNN used be to pretty good. So was TIME magazine. What the fuck happened? Below is a shocking headline from CNN!


Yeah and TIME magazine totally failed with the article below.


Yes, if you read the article is all about how Ida is not our earliest ancestor because in the grand scope of things our ancestry goes far further back. The article is mainly about how scientists didn't need to see Ida to have proof of evolution.

But here's the problem. First of all, this article was on CNN which you click on and sends you to TIME magazine's website. But just think how the average person (who just can't accept evolution) will react to this. They'll look at the headline from TIME and say to themselves, "Oh, so apparently scientists don't believe this thing is real." Like a game of telephone it'll translate to, "Scientists don't even believe in evolution. I guess they have accepted that the book of Genesis is the true account."

Originally the title to the article was "Scientists Roll Their Eyes at Ida" but I guess somebody felt that was inappropriate.

Jesus fucking Christ!

10 April 2009

I Must Be One Of Those Fags

There is a band out there I hate. I mean, I hate. I have never hated a band more in my life than this band. I first heard of them because Pandora's boyfriend just loves them because he and his high school buddies drink to their songs. I thought that perhaps this horribly shitty band was no more known to the world than to teenage boys who got together every weekend to smoke weed, drink booze, and fuck nasty hoes. I was wrong.

At work last night, one of the managers had her iPod connected and was playing on shuffle. A song came on and I thought it sounded familiar... it was Hollywood Undead. I cannot even express how much I hate this band. I walked right up to the stereo playing the iPod and ripped the cord out. I wasn't going to listen to that shit. My manager got pissed off and said that she, "loves this band! They're so amazing!" She plugged it back in and started all over again. I dropped what I doing and walked as far away as possible into the dinning room and sat down, waiting until the song was over.

So let me tell you a little bit about Hollywood Undead. They are a group of six douchebags (Charlie Scene, Johnny 3 Tears, J-Dog, Da Kurlzz, Duece AKA The Producer, and Funny Man). They started out as an unsigned band on MySpace and got so popular that they got a real record deal. They wear hockey masks so that you can see what they really look like (although you can see them here without their masks thanks to some girls MySpace). So they have fake names and wear masks so that people don't know who they are. And I can understand why. Below are some chosen lyrics from four songs off their debut album Swan Songs.

Hollywood Undead - "Christmas In Hollywood"
So meet me under the mistletoe lets fuck
so meet me by the manura lets get drunk

Little Timmy stole from 7-11
So we stopped by his house with a pair of sevens
We drank in his room with some dude named Kevin

He didn't leave cookies but we needed a snack
So we took the beer back and I FUCKED HIM IN THE ASS!!!

underneath his suit was just a bunch of pillows.
instead of bags of presents, he had bags of dildo's.

Hollywood Undead - "Undead"
Motherfuckers who don't know what,
You better watch what you say.
From these industry fucks,
To these faggot ass punks,
You don't know what it takes,
To get this motherfucking truck.

Johny's taking hands up, with all the faggots who hate,
Cause I am good motherfucker and there's a price to pay,
Yeah, I am a good motherfucker and its judgment day!

I'm getting used to this nuisance,
And all the fags who bad mouth this music,

You need to slit your wrist, get pissed and go jump off a bridge,

Because its nothing in my mouth except my dick and what I spit,
So my dick is in my hand when I respond to faggots talking shit,
Speaking of fags, already wrap with the drag,
We killed him and then we stuffed his body in the Cadillac.

Hollywood Undead - "Pimpin"
Where I ride with jdog
And it's like, okay, basically
We get shitfaced and crazy
We're screaming "FUCK THE POLICE!"

We're six Caucasians, hell raisin'
Blazin', making zero pay
Can't wait to drink to stop the pain

And I got my soldiers in the back so you don't wanna face me
And when your girl look up at me, I'm lookin' right down
And all that yappin', you know you gon' get a smack down

Hollywood Undead - "Everywhere I Go"
Wake up
Grab beer
Grab rear
Shave beard
Put on some scene gear
Gotta get drunk before my mom wakes up
Break-up with my girlfriend so I can bang sluts
I'm undead, unfed
Been sleeping on bunk beds
Since ten
So if I don't booze it, I'm gonna lose it
Everybody get to it, do it, get ruined

So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin’

When I start drinking
My dick does all my thinking
Hoes want to be scene with me
And I like their big thick titties

I wanna see your booty rubbing against my dick
when I start buzzin'
Come on girls I wanna see you drinkin'
I wanna see your brain start shrinkin'
Make a move I saw you winkin'
Drunken pussies what I'm thinkin'


So booze, violence, fags, sluts, more booze, more sluts. All they do is talk about drinking and fucking drunk girls. Wow, sounds like my kinda guys! Oh and we can't forget about them telling us their names. None of what I chose reflected this but they are constantly telling us who they are. So yeah, I must be one of those fags who bad mouth their music.

What is sad is not necessarily that they exist or that they are the way they are. It's the fact that there is a very real audience of people out there who likes them. There are people out there who really like their music. They sing along, get drunk, and think to themselves, "Oh how I wish I was just like them. I wish I could drink all day long and fuck drunk girls like they do in the songs. Hollywood Undead is just so cool! It's so cool they sing about breaking up with their girlfriend so they can fuck sluts. It's so cool they have nothing else in life but drinking. It's just so cool"

26 March 2009

What Little Douchebags

Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson are such little douchebags. They are supposed to be leading the country and yet they are going on about how they want President Obama to fail. They want him to fail? They honestly want the economy to get worse and not to show any signs of any recovery until 2012 just so a republican might get the chance to get into the White House. They want unemployment to continue to raise from it's 9% now up til god know what in four years!?

This should outrage everyone. How fucky petty and selfish is this!? This is like hopeing that a doctor fucks up an operation just because you don't like them personally.

You know what, I never liked Bush. But I never ever wanted him to fail. I never wanted the war to fail. I never wanted the economy to fail. Yes, I did want a democrat to enter the White House when he left, but I didn't hope the country to go into the shitter just so my guy got elected.

This just shows out of touch these rich politicians are. Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson aren't hurting because of the economy and so they have no trouble hoping that Obama's economic recovery will fail. It just shows that to them, this is all just a game. It's just a game to them and they don't understand that to everday people it's their livelihood. They don't know what it's like to loose a job and get stuck with bills and not a dime in the bank. They don't know what it's like to have a house get forclosed on. To them, it's all just a game. These are not the type of people who should be representing the people in our government.

When it comes to something like winning a war or saving the economy, we should never want our president to fail. Saving the economy should be something that all Americans can get behind but good old fashioned bipartisan politics strikes again and shows us the real douchebags in the room. You know, in college Bobby Jindal and a few of his friends assaulted a woman and strapped her to a bed, performing a Catholic exorcism on her. They believed that she had something very evil inside her that needed exorcised out of her. I never thought I'd say this, but can somebody please strap Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson to a bed and grab me some holy water?

02 March 2009

Fuck No Cussing! (Potty Mouth Rant!)

I guess Los Angeles is proclaiming a "no cussing week" which is total fucking bullshit. Cussing is the god damn dumbest shit on earth. Some dumb bitches in history decide that a few words like ass, shit, or piss are bad and suddenly they just are for no good reason. So I wonder, L.A. has a huge Asian population. Is "no cussing" only in English or in any language. Because as scary as cuss words are, they don't mean shit to somebody who doesn't speak the language. And what about the fact that what is considered a cuss word today won't be tomorrow and what was considered a naughty word yesterday isn't today?

Cussing is nothing. It's the height of total bullshit. It pisses me the fuck off when adults are so afraid of swear words. Don't they understand that words are just sounds coming out of somebodies cock sucking mouth? What might be a cuss word in one language might be the word for love or pussy or popsicle in another. Why the fuck does it matter!!!

I swear, parents made up cussing to make their kids feel like even the sounds coming out of their mouth could sinful. Tell me, what is worse? A child making noises with his lips, tongue, and teeth in the form of the word fuck, or a parent placing poisonous chemicals in the form of a soap bar in their child's mouth for doing so?

I guess the teenage cunt-licker responcible for "no cussing week" wants to spread awareness around the world. You know, in some languages there are no swear words and in other there are several. How about, instead of spreading awareness of cussing, which has nothing to do with fucking morality, how about spreading awareness about shit that really does matters like breast cancer, diabetes, childhood obesity, heart disease, illiteracy, homelessness, education, starvation, health care, poverty, or... I dunno, ANYTHING!

There is so much shit in the world and you're telling me that this little douchebag had nothing better to do with his life than to start clubs because scary nonsenscial words coming out of other teenagers mouths made him so made that he decided to take on the pussiest job of all, MOUTH MONITOR.

So what's the argument against cussing. Cussing is bad. Why? Because it's naughty. Why? Because those words are bad. Why? Because they're cuss words. Why?

IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

Jesus fucking Christ!!! Can we please focus on the real problems in the world and not the made up bullshit like CUSSING!

26 February 2009

A Clear Thinking Oasis (Nice Long Rant!)


Sometimes at work I long to be around smart people. Like today, a girl named Tiffany said faggot. She then caught herself and asked if I minded if she said it. I told her, "I'd rather you say faggot than nigger to be honest." She laughed and replied, "Why?" I said, "Because there is more history and hatred behind the word nigger." Laughing even harder, she replied, "Yeah right. Nigger is just fun to say!"

This next thing might seem trivial but it got under my skin. This guy named Josh told me that he didn't know how to view his own myspace page. He knew how to see new comments, but didn't know how to see his own myspace page. Really? Yeah, I know, it's silly. But it amazed me that somebody that age who actually had a myspace didn't have the knowledge to view it.

Later I overheard Josh and Bobby talking and complaining about their homework. I don't know what led to it or what the conversation was about, but I did hear bobby say, "I swear, people are just stupid. I mean, if we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys. It's that simple. And besides, science has proven that all humanity came from two people and that's exactly what the Bible says. As if we needed science to tell us that."

I didn't even say a word because I would have been there all day. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that statement. But then again, Bobby was the one who thought that President Obama was going to be kicked out as soon as they realized he was born in India and that Former President Bush would come back to fix everything he messed up.

And then there's my manager. Yes, I know it's fucky fried chicken... but this guy is an idiot (and is a head manager of a money making franchise!). He cannot spell anything worth a shit. The other day he posted a note about a meeting ... oh i'm sorry, it was actually a meating. A mandantorry meating at that. Apparently if we have any reazon why we cannot attend said meating, we are reqiered to talk to the mangement.

So perhaps I'm being picky. Either way, I thought it was funny... especially since it said that everybody had to be thier (yes, not only did he use the wrong form, he spelled it wrong too). So being the funny guy I am, I wrote a little note on the paper in the office that pointed to the misspelled words and read, "Spellcheck is a blessing. Use it."

Apparently he was so fumed when he saw it that he was seconds from calling me up on my day off and firing me. I guess he calmed down and decided to "have words" with me instead. He told me that he knows that he isn't the best speller, but that I needed to bring these things to his attention because calling them out by writing on the paper makes him look stupid (as if spelling the words horribly wrong didn't already). He also said that "not all of us went to school for computer techonology and know how to use spell check." He's 29 years old people. He's only six years older than me!

Apparently I'm dangerous at fucky fried chicken. I'm a whisteblower! There was this new policy about using paper liners on chicken. The big manager told everybody that liners cost five cents each and that for each one we waste he is taking five cents out of our paycheck (he was being dead serious). I got bitched at for blowing the whistle on this because I knew that these things couldn't possibly cost that much and all I had to do was look up in the cost book to find that per sheet that he claimed was five cents was actually a cool four hundreths of a penny each. So apparently they aren't five cents each sheet... they're 5 cents per 125 sheets.

I talked to big man manager Dan about his lying to crew members about the cost of product (cups, paper, chicken, etc) and told him that morally I found it abhorring (had to explain that word to him). I told him that in the end people will not respect him for lies and that if he wants to lower paper cost that he needs to tell the truth about how it hurts the company and not to lie about it. He told me that he did not agreed and he didn't care if people respected him or not and that the ends justified the means. Whatever. (Oh and big shocker here. This guy who makes his own shedule actively shedules himself to work so that he can get out of church but is apparenlty a devout Christian. Nothing says hypocrite like a Christian actively avoiding followers of his own faith in devotion to God by skipping church every week).

Oh and today, new rule! Apparenlty now we need to have a manager with us with their special manager key before we can clock in or out because we can't be trusted to clock in and out by ourselves. On top of that, we need the manager to issue 10% senior citizen discounts on food. Wow. When I critized this I mentioned how we were told if we clocked in early we would be wrote up and that nobody has been wrote up. I went on to expose the fact that all their threats have proven to be empty as nobody has been fired or wrote up for the miriad of rules that we were warned about (and that everybody breaks on a daily basis). I told them they had empty threats and I was told to "try them." *Rolls eyes*

So anyways, the point of my rant is this. I wish I could say that these were isolated instances of stupidity but they're not. I know this is fast food and these are teenagers but I assure that little chances as these people grow up and branch out. I wish I could say that stupidity was uncommon but it's not. I know there are smart people out there and I know there are educated people too. All three of these people voted in the 2008 election (2 for McCain, 2 surprisingly for Obama). It's days like this that I say to myself that democracy doesn't work. A democratic society cannot flourish and prosper when it's voters are fucking stupid. I would actively support a McCain/Palin presidency if it meant that all the stupid people in America magically became educated.

Usually talk at work does not go past sex and annoying customers. But every once in a while it does and on these days nihilism seeps into my brain like never before. It's like there are forty people all telling me the pen is blue when I can clearly see that the fucking pen is red! There used to be a girl named Kelly who was so smart and so well read. She was my clear thinking oasis and I miss her a lot. Even her boyfriend who volunteered for Habitat for Humanity, spending six months in Hungary building homes for low-income families, was smart. They broke up and he now works at Pizza Hut and she attends university.

I want my clear thinking oasis back. I want somebody to come to my work who can exchange intelligent statements and hypotheses.

Jesus freaks and religious nuts are so lucky. When they are surrounded by people who do not share their beliefs they can simply write it off as evil, sinful, or the AntiChrist. When we intellectuals are surrounded by people who don't understand science, religion, philosophy, psychology, etc etc etc, all we can do is take a pencil to our face and stab stab stab!!!

I often float between this strange dissonance in my desire that I was born during a much more simple time, like the 1400s. Sure I wouldn't have modern medicine, science, or a worldwide view of humanity... but boy would I be at bliss. Knowledge is a burden and sometimes I wish I was just stupid (but not really). Because then the next wish floats in, that I was born in another universe.

In this universe, I like to call it my Madam Butterfly universe, there is no religion, bullshit ideas, or mental laxity. When people want to get philosophical and ponder life and existence, they open up a book or watch a documentary about the natural processes like deep sea life, rain forest diversity, quantum mechanics, or philosophical futurism. They might read Bible tales, but not to take them seriously, but to learn more about primitive beliefs and the human experience. They would read from the Bible, the Koran, Hindu texts, Greco-Roman faith, and more to achieve a sense of man's strange path to understand himself. When they want to get out of the house, they wouldn't go drinking or clubbing. They'd go to museums of art of history or to the local Denny's to discuss literature.

I remember the first time I went to Richard Dawkins' website and saw the subtitle, A Clear Thinking Oasis. Something about it made me feel like I could sense the breeze through my hair as a stood on top of a great mountain overlooking a gorgeous natural scene (perhaps because next to the subtitle happened to be a picture of him doing just that).

Alas, the closest place to get to this is to pull up my ipod and listen to the sweet English voices of Richard Dawkins and Lalla Ward as they tell me stories about Abraham, and Moses, and the grasshopper, and the platypus as well as mitochondria and genes of a selfish nature.

06 February 2009

Oh Big Fucking Deal!


Okay, I don't smoke weed for two reasons. Firstly, I don't smoke anything. Secondly, it costs too much. But despite my lack of smoking, I have a lot of friends that do, and I am a huge advocate for the legalization of marijuana. So I say this whole thing with Michael Phelps smoking a bong is fucking bullshit.

Before I get to that, lets get to some truths. First of all, marijuana is illegal. Alcohol is not. I've had several classes that have explored psychotropic drugs and the legality of them. There is one and only one reason that pot is illegal. Because you can grow it at home. I'll explain more about that later.

So like I said, I'm a huge advocate for the legalization. What horrible things would happen if we legalized pot, you ask? Well to start, the police force would have all this extra time on their hands if they weren't cracking down on stoners. Court rooms would work so much faster because they would have a dramatically lower amount of cases without them prosecuting pot heads.

Next, horrible drug companies would start selling pot. The terrible government would tax it like hell too. Because it would be grown in high amounts and mass produced, it would cost very little to make. Cigarettes have a shit load of ingeredients and cost about $4 a pack. It would cost about $0.23 to product a pack of weed-smokes. For every pack the government would tack on $2 in tax, and the company producing would take $2 in profet, and so a pack of weedarettes would run about $4.23 a pack.

With all that extra money, the weed producing compnay would have huge explosion of available jobs right here in America. With all that extra money, the government could do any of the following.
  • Improve schools
  • Give out a shit ton more government aid for higher education
  • Improve roads
  • Give out extra funds for the research of diseases like cancer and AIDS
  • Research more eco-friendly ways to do everything
  • Give out another stimulus
So, wanna stimulate the economy? Legalize weed!

Oh and so you're saying to yourself, "But isn't weed a gateway drug to really bad things?" Actually, there is sufficient evidence to show that for some people it is, but there is a good reason why. It's because of it's illegality that people tend to move to other things. It comes under the idea of "if i'm doing one illegal drug, why not another." So if it were legalized, it would definitely not be a gateway drug.

But the problem with legalization is this one fact. You can grow pot in your house. Companies would be trying to sell a product people can grow at home. That's one of the biggest reasons against legalization and it's a stupid one. I can crow tomatoes in my house by I still prefer to buy them in the can.

Well, may perhaps you're saying to yourself,"oh but weed is a drug and it's terrible." There is one, and only one other drug out there that is safer than marijuana. And that's caffeine. Everything else is worse. Wanna know that is really bad. Alcohol.

Every year millions and million die from alcohol. Every year... nobody dies from weed.

When people drink alcohol, terrible things happen. They get angry and hit their wife. They fuck their friend's girlfriend and ruin their marriage and friendships. They drink too much and die of alcohol poisoning. They get behind the wheel and hit another car, killing themself and the people in the other car. They get too drunk and angry and take out their gun and go out and kill someone. They drink too much and become alcoholics. They get chemically addicted to alcohol, quit cold turkey and die of shock (it can and does happen!).

When people smoke weed, terrible things happen too. They eat the whole pizza. Their pipe gets dirty. They go through taco bell and annoy the employees. They find star jones attractive (see video below).



Here's the bottom line. When you do too much alcohol, you die. When you do too much weed, you consume the fridge. It is absolutely stupid that alcohol is legal in this country and that pot is not. Alcohol kills. Pot makes The Yellow Submarine more enjoyable.

Okay, so I must admit that pot is not perfect. There are some adverse effects to smoking pot. Here is a list from familydoctor.com.
  • Trouble remembering things
  • Slowed reaction time
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Sleepiness
  • Anxiety
  • Paranoia (feeling that people are "out to get you")
  • Altered time perception
  • Increased appetite
  • Red, bloodshot eyes
Is this really anything close to or as terrible as alcohol or cigarettes? Why is it that the legal stuff is worse than the illegal stuff.

I don't drink either. I hate the taste of alcohol and the horrible feeling in the morning when you've drank too much. So if I have to do one or the other, put that beer away, and pass me the bong.

Oh and this bullshit about Michael Phelps is stupid. He could smoke cigarettes and drink 'til the cows come home and nobody would bat an eye. But the minute his lips hit that bong, he gets a suspension and looses endorsement deals. He put out a statement apologizing for his actions and saying it was immature and that he would never do it again. I understand that his agent probably made him say that but honestly, if that were me, I would have said, "Fuck you guys, I'm an adult and I'll do as I please. I like smoking. I did it once. I'm gonna do it again. Mind your own fucking business."

29 January 2009

Strike Three! You're Out!

Two weeks ago I found a site advertised by Shirt.Woot.Com. The site is called $6 Shirts. Pretty campy shirts, but right up my alley. So I ordered 3 shirts. See below.


Strike 1: After a week without a tracking number and the website still saying "processed", I had to phone them and ask them for it. Big shock. Hadn't shipped yet cos they were still "backed up from the holiday." Yes, they're talking about Christmas. A month after Christmas and they are backed up. He told me, "I hope you get it next week." Note: Their website says, "all orders ship within 2 business days." Mine took 7 business days. I'm willing to bet that if I had not called, they would have never shipped.

Strike 2: They finally came today and it was shipped USPS despite me being charged for UPS Ground shipping as my invoice said. For a 1.5 pound shitty bag I was charged eight dollars for shipping.

Strike 3: My "Azalea" Ganesh shirt was not Azalea. It was light pink. Not the dark pink from the picture. Nothing like what was advertised. Lucky for me the other two were fine. Click here to see what my Ganesh shirt really looked like.

Never ordering from them again. I should have known to stick with reputable well known sites like Amazon. Luckily I only paid a total of $26 dollars for two shirts I'll definitely wear and one I might on the the right day. Oh yeah, they never respond to e-mails either. An extra strike, I suppose. I would love to bitch but, they won't do anything. Their about us does say, "buy from us with caution." Tisk tisk.

03 January 2009

I Know It's Called Church's But...

Mandar and I went to Church's Chicken the other day and I happened to see a little something tapped up with their coupon announcements and such right next to the register. See below.


Okay, I know they are called "Church's Chicken" but really? Not to mention, they are a global company in countries such as Mexico, Jordan, India, Russia, and Kuwait. But of course, in Muslim countries (as well as the UK) they are not called Church's Chicken, they are called Texas Chicken. Haha.

21 December 2008

Oh Yeah! This Makes Sense...



This is a poster for the new Ice Age movie coming next year. Apparently they've decided that the next one will be when the dinosaurs take over the world...

Strange, I didn't know that the Ice Age movies were set in a universe where times goes backwards and species de-evolve.

Dinosaurs: Went extinct 65.5 million years ago.
Sabor-Tooth Cats: Went extinct 9000 years ago
Mammoths: Went extinct 4500 years ago.

No why in the fuck are dinosaurs attacking Sabor-Tooth Cats and Mammonths!? Does nobody over at 20th Century Fox know that it's after the Dinosaurs went extinct mammals evolved rapidly to form (in the fullness of time) cats and elephants. Didn't anybody say to themselves, "Hrmm, wait a minute. Dinosaurs went extinct tens of millions of years before Sabor-Tooth Cats and Mammoths ever walked on earth. Maybe this is a dumb idea..."

It's not like these two types of animals were thousands of years apart... but MILLIONS! Millions and millions and millions of years. 65.5 MILLION! Worst of all, I have been looking online and very few people seem to have picked up on this HUGE mistake. What the fuck.

Now, here is Jesusland ::cough cough::, I mean America, it won't be that big of an issue. But over in educated countries like England, France, Spain, Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Portugal, Switzerland, Japan, Taiwan, Germany, Canada, Austria, Ireland, Latvia, Norway... and so on, where the studios want to get international moneys, there might be a fucking issue.

14 December 2008

Where's My Network?


So apparently it's the fault of Visa (according to my bank). I called and she said that several people had problems yesterday and today. It's Visa's fault and it's being fixed. Thankfully I wasn't at some store all day shopping just to get my card denied. Urrg!

13 December 2008

Fuck You, Fuck You, You're Cool, Fuck You...


What a fucking day. I'm gonna go ahead and divide this whole post up into "Fuck You!" and "You're Cool." I think it will be most fitting for this roller coaster of a day.

Fuck You #1: The Traffic Lights In Ontario
So Mandar and I went to go see The Day The Earth Stood Still at about 11 this morning. I had to work 4pm to Close today so we went to see the early showing. Once we got to Ontario frustration set in. I swear to god that the lights are completely fucked up. They stay red for 10 minutes. They stay green for 10 seconds. Arrrrggggh!

Fuck You #2: The Douchebags Behind Us
In the movie there was this couple behind us a few rows that talked quite a bit. The most annoying part was when Jennifer Connolly's character whispered to Klaatu "run" and the guy was like "What did she say!?"

You're Cool #1: The Film
Despite the fucking critics, I really enjoyed the film. Rotten Tomatoes has it at a 22% but I really like it. The critics seemed far to perturbed by the film's message (that humans are destroying the earth). However, when a fucking cartoon robot says the same exact thing, they jizz their pants. They also complain cos Keanu Reeves is emotionless. He's playing a FUCKING alien! One critic said he hated it before he even watched it cos you just can't remake the 1951 original. Jesus Christ!!! So yeah, really good film actually. The special effects were great and John Cleese and Kathy Bates were amazing (like always).

Fuck You #3: Christmas Shopping Traffic
Every single fucking person on EARTH was shopping in Ontario. It took forever just to get down the street.

Fuck You #4: The Airpump At Speedway
My front tires were a little low so I decided to fill them up a little bit. I stopped at Speedway but their fucking pump was broke. Jesus!

Fuck You #5: That Bitch At Circle K
So we got to Circle K to get gas and put a little air in the tires. I went in to prepay and this dumb bitch in front of us took FOREVER buying cigarettes and lottery tickets.

Fuck You #6: The Bitch At Great Clips
So we both get our hair cut at Great Clips. It's cheap. We're guys. We're cheap. Big deal. Wanna fight about it? So we go there and they asked our number and name. By chance we both happen to have the same first name (however I go by my middle name). The dumb bitch could not accept that two people both could live under the same roof with the same first name.

Fuck You #7: The Cashier's Office At School
So I had to pay my first payment for my winter quarter fees. I have to sign this paper but the fucking cash office was closed so now I have to go back again sometime this week to sign the paper. Urgh!

Fuck You #8: Ms. Trainee
So we got back to Great Clips (because the wait was rather long) and we got our hair cut. Mandar had a nice lady who did a good job. I had this dumb 16 year old girl (I swear she was). She didn't do a horrible job, but what irked me was that after she was done she said, "Okay, lemme get somebody to check this for me. I'm still in training." Are you fucking kidding me!? You couldn't have divulged this ahead of time?

Fuck You #9: The Popeye's Management
So we go through Popeye's Chicken for lunch and it takes forever and ever and ever. Finally the guy tells us that when he runs the card it says "Referral" and he doesn't know what the means. After the movie and all, all I had was four dollars and my debit card. I told him that's all I had, expecting that he would understand and give us the meal for only four bucks or so since it's their credit card machine's fault, but no! What a douche!

Fuck You #10: Bitchy McDonald's Lady
So, pissed off, hungry, and angry, we stopped through McDonalds. The card was denied. What. The. Fuck! I know we have money in the bank. So I ended up having to use my credit card to pay for the food. Which in retrospect I could have done at Popeye's as well. But of course I felt like a douche having my debit card denied.

Fuck You #11: Richland Bank's Saturday Hours
So I was furious! I immediately called my bank. It was 3:04pm. My bank closed at 3:00pm. Grr!!!

Fuck You #12: My Fucking Bank!
So on the way home Mandar and I speculated that one of three things must have happened. Either one, our card number was stolen again (two years ago it happened twice). Or two, Mandar's paycheck bounced (this happened several years ago before he worked there). Or three, nothing was wrong and our bank was fucked up. Either way, I knew all I had to do was to log into my online banking and check what the fuck was up. I logged in. My balance was $284.76. Now after 6 hours of work, it's still $284.76. Not negative. Positive. So what the fuck is the issue!?!?!?! I guess tomorrow when I call up the bank and ream their asses I will find out.

Fuck You #13: 3 Doors Down
I don't know how I forgot this. But FUCK YOU 3 Doors Down! What a fucking sell out you are. Shooting a music video for the fucking military to try and get more kids to enter into the army. I hated 3 Doors Down to begin with, this just bumped it into a whole new bracket! I love how they make war out to be so simple and so heroic. Clearly they have no fucking idea.

07 December 2008

I'm So Fucking Done!


So my douchebag cuntface motherfucker regional manager has a new rule. All call offs need a doctors note. ALL! Next time I've got the shits, I'm fired unless I provide a doctors note. Next time I've got a cold, I'm fired unless I provide a doctors note.

This is fucking fast food. I swear to god he acts like he's curing cancer. This poor kid called off last night and they said told him not to come back in unless he's got a doctors note. We're serving CHICKEN! Jesus fucking christ! Today a manager walked out and quit. In total, 3 managers have quit in 2 months. Two more managers plan to quit over the coming weeks as well as countless employees. Wtf!

I'm so fucking DONE! I've only got a year and a half left of college. I just need a job to help me make it 'til then. JESUS! Tomorrow, job hunting begins.

03 December 2008

The Effects Of An Official Recession


I went through McDonalds last night to find out the following. They have two double cheeseburgers now. You won't believe the difference!

$0.99 Double Cheeseburger - Bun, 2 Patties, 1 Pieces of Cheese, Pickle, Onion, Ketchup, Mustard, Onions
$1.19 McDouble Cheeseburger - Bun, 2 Patties, 2 Pieces of Cheese, Pickle, Onion, Ketchup, Mustard, Onions

My fucking god. Do they really need two different sandwiches on the menu? Couldn't they have just bumped up the price and called it inflation. Or just removed a piece of cheese and not said anything. Was this drastic piece of action really necessary!? Well that was for Mandar, not me.


So I got a 10 piece chicken nugget. I asked for lots of honey to dip it in. I got one... So then I asked for more and they were like "Uhhhhh, we're gonna have to charge you 10 cents per extra honey." Are you fucking kidding me!? I'm supposed to dip 10 nuggets into one tiny cup of honey! It took me a shit load of bitching to finally get a few more without having to give them my debit card for an extra 30 cent charge. The cups are like, a millimeter deep to begin with!

To top it off, while at the grocery store I grabbed a 20 oz. bottle of Mt. Dew. Later when I opened it I noticed that on top of the cap was written the world "Bad" in black marker. Perfect.

02 December 2008

Well If Some UPS Guy Said It...

So Mandar over at Even More Things That Make Me Think pointed me to a article in Newsweek about how Atheists are supposedly going pro-life...

Really!?

Apparently this atheist UPS guy speaks for us all when he says that atheists see life a sacred and want to protect it at all costs. That may be true, but that doesn't make us pro-life. Pro-lifers are people who want to ban all abortion. Some even in the case of rape and incest.

I'm sorry, but this is a poor portrayal of atheists from a major news magazine. Boo on Newsweek for such a shitty article that really shows a complete lack of research from an author who was more than likely looking for a pro-life atheist.

Moreover, Atheists are usually people like me; Preachy pompous know-it-alls (please take a joke people). What they know for sure is that if abortion is illegal (like pro-lifers want it to be) then women will be forced to use coat hangers in dark allies to get abortions.

Check out the article here.

01 December 2008

I'm Not Buying It, Michael Phelps


So, I'm fucking tired of seeing this god damned commercial with Michael "Butterface" Phelps for Rosetta Stone. First of all, he bullshits us by claiming that he wanted to learn Chinese before he went to the 2008 Olympics. Yeah right! Save for cultural submersion, it takes years to learn a language as different as Chinese. I like how you see him using the product but never hear him actually say a word in Chinese. The commercial makes it sound as if he learned to speak Chinese fluently. I was so done with Phelps like a week after the Olympics.

Final thought: Boo on Michael Phelps for being such a product whore. Boo on Rosetta Stone for being such a ... poopy head product! Oh and yes, I purposely left out his face in the image above.


Well fuck me in the ass! I dare make fun on one commercial only to see one 100 times worse. You know, you flip it over to the Science Channel and watch some great programing from astrophysicist Michio Kaku and you just expect that total bullshit might be starved off for only a moment. Oh no!

Introducing, the Snuggie!

It's like a blanket... but it has ARMS! Jesus Fucking Christ! My head exploded when I saw this thing advertised. Are you serious!? Have you never heard a of a fucking ROBE!!!! These people look like cult members. I like how they talk about how you can wear it around your house and your dorm to keep warm... like a ROBE!


Rule of thumb. If it's advertised on TV. It's bullshit!


Okay, those are fucking cult members. They are supplying death robes for the next great suicide cult.

Addendum: So every year I tend to wage war on something. This year has gone by pretty smooth. Usually I wage war on Christmas but I've been okay this year. Now, I've decided to wage WAR on the Snuggie. This guy from YouTube understands... (lol, I love the thing he says at about 7:02. He sounds just like Lewis Black).


A blanket... WITH SLEEVES!

30 November 2008

...Down With The Sickness?


So it's day five of my sickness. It all started at Aurora's house the day before Thanksgiving. We were playing Wizard and I had a terribly running nose. Thursday it hit like hell and I could barely enjoy any of the amazing food. Friday was probably the worst. All the symptoms culminated together that day. Saturday I was able to get over my runny nose and stuffy face for the most part but by the end of the day my cough was horrible. So here it is, Sunday, and my cough is worse than ever. My abs hurt from all the coughing but I am starting to get some of my strength back. It hurts to cough so much that I have to hold my stomach to get through it. Needless to say I'm still in no fit state to work.

So when I got up I realized that I was going to have to call off again. I was only scheduled two days this week because usually people aren't in the mood for poultry right after Thanksgiving. So when I called I asked for my schedule for next week too (in which I don't go back until Wednesday), my new manager told me that if I call off again then I will need a doctor's note. A doctor's note!? For fucking KFC!? For a fucking cold!? Are you kidding me? I don't need to see a fucking doctor for a cold. They can last up to ten days and only in rare situations need attention from a doctor.

A doctors note would cost up to $600 dollar for me because I would have to go to the emergency room which is extremely expensive. I can't go see a regular doctor because nearly all doctors in our area now require a person to pay in full up front if the patient has no health care. KFC offers no health care to it's employees and thus I am one of the millions of American who has none. I could go get it myself without the help of an employer which would cost at the lowest price I've seen, $186 a month. I can't afford that. Further more it's terribly shitty health care that covers very little.

Of course there are two great evils in the world that would give me health care. If we passed a national health care service then I would have a least minimal health care that would allow me to visit a doctor without paying out the ass. Also, if same-sex marriage was legalized then Mandar and I could officially get married and I'd be covered under his health care as a spouse. Either way, I'd be covered but since NHS and gay marriage are evil, looks like I'm fucked until Spring of 2010 when I graduate.

Which brings me to my final thought. Even if I had health care, I wouldn't go to the doctors for a fucking COLD!

Oh and I guess I missed a completely valid point... My boss wants me to come into work while I'm infected with an extremely contagious disease! I should have gone in. I should have went in and coughed on everybody that way half the crew (and my douchy manager) would be sick for the next week thanks to his assholiness. Does he really want me to come in with a contagious desease and serve food to the public?

29 November 2008

Created By A School Teacher?


Okay, so I haven't been focusing on my other writing because I've been on my deathbed for the last three days. I usually get about there colds a year. Two of them are very mild. One of them is deathly. This year the deathly cold came on Thanksgiving day, which sucks because I had my deathly cold at the exact same time last year. The only silver lining is that because it came during the holiday I have only so far had to miss one day of work.

So while texting Pandora the subject of Airborne came up because her boss swears by it. Well she's a dumb bitch (the boss, not Pandora).

Now, Airborne marks itself as a "dietary supplement" that stops you from getting a cold. They actually don't specifically say that because for them to do so they'd have to prove it to the FDA. They market it as a "dietary supplement" because that's all it is. It contains vitamins and that's it. All it does is provide the taker with an extra boost of vitamins that their normal diet wouldn't have. However, if the person taking the Airborne usually takes a multivitamin already, then the effects plateau. You would have just as good of a result with a Flintstones vitamin.

But here is the underlining problem. Airborne, in general, isn't dangerous. However, it can be. It has dangerously high levels of Vitamin A and Vitamin C which can cause dizziness and diarrhea. By the big problem is not the diarrhea you might get. It's the fact that people are not only taking, but "swearing" by fake medication (that cost way to much to boot!).

So you might be saying, "What about when my doctor proscribes a placebo?" Well the biggest difference is that when the doctor prescribes a placebo, he knows it's a placebo. Furthermore, a placebo is cheaper than Airborne. A placebo is not something to take over the counter. It's something a doctor proscribes knowing that the disease that they are fighting can be improved by the work of a placebo.

My finer point is this. It's a scary world we live in today when a fake pill can be sold over the counter that claims to stop people from getting a cold. What's truly scary is that people continue to take this because of anecdotal claims of it's effectiveness rather than tried and tested scientific double-blind tests which has shown it to be ineffective. Before you know it, all the tested medicine will be replaced by bullshit concocted by school teachers who just "swear" by it.

Which leads me to my last point. It was created by a school teacher!? I daresay that nobody, NOBODY should ever take a pill created by a fucking school teacher. Are you kidding! I wouldn't dare ingest any medicine that was not created and tested by chemists and medical professionals. What on earth possessed this crazy bitch to think she could make medicine.

An article for further reading can be found here.

PS: A class action suit has been filed against Airborne for it's false claims.