06 February 2009

Oh Big Fucking Deal!


Okay, I don't smoke weed for two reasons. Firstly, I don't smoke anything. Secondly, it costs too much. But despite my lack of smoking, I have a lot of friends that do, and I am a huge advocate for the legalization of marijuana. So I say this whole thing with Michael Phelps smoking a bong is fucking bullshit.

Before I get to that, lets get to some truths. First of all, marijuana is illegal. Alcohol is not. I've had several classes that have explored psychotropic drugs and the legality of them. There is one and only one reason that pot is illegal. Because you can grow it at home. I'll explain more about that later.

So like I said, I'm a huge advocate for the legalization. What horrible things would happen if we legalized pot, you ask? Well to start, the police force would have all this extra time on their hands if they weren't cracking down on stoners. Court rooms would work so much faster because they would have a dramatically lower amount of cases without them prosecuting pot heads.

Next, horrible drug companies would start selling pot. The terrible government would tax it like hell too. Because it would be grown in high amounts and mass produced, it would cost very little to make. Cigarettes have a shit load of ingeredients and cost about $4 a pack. It would cost about $0.23 to product a pack of weed-smokes. For every pack the government would tack on $2 in tax, and the company producing would take $2 in profet, and so a pack of weedarettes would run about $4.23 a pack.

With all that extra money, the weed producing compnay would have huge explosion of available jobs right here in America. With all that extra money, the government could do any of the following.
  • Improve schools
  • Give out a shit ton more government aid for higher education
  • Improve roads
  • Give out extra funds for the research of diseases like cancer and AIDS
  • Research more eco-friendly ways to do everything
  • Give out another stimulus
So, wanna stimulate the economy? Legalize weed!

Oh and so you're saying to yourself, "But isn't weed a gateway drug to really bad things?" Actually, there is sufficient evidence to show that for some people it is, but there is a good reason why. It's because of it's illegality that people tend to move to other things. It comes under the idea of "if i'm doing one illegal drug, why not another." So if it were legalized, it would definitely not be a gateway drug.

But the problem with legalization is this one fact. You can grow pot in your house. Companies would be trying to sell a product people can grow at home. That's one of the biggest reasons against legalization and it's a stupid one. I can crow tomatoes in my house by I still prefer to buy them in the can.

Well, may perhaps you're saying to yourself,"oh but weed is a drug and it's terrible." There is one, and only one other drug out there that is safer than marijuana. And that's caffeine. Everything else is worse. Wanna know that is really bad. Alcohol.

Every year millions and million die from alcohol. Every year... nobody dies from weed.

When people drink alcohol, terrible things happen. They get angry and hit their wife. They fuck their friend's girlfriend and ruin their marriage and friendships. They drink too much and die of alcohol poisoning. They get behind the wheel and hit another car, killing themself and the people in the other car. They get too drunk and angry and take out their gun and go out and kill someone. They drink too much and become alcoholics. They get chemically addicted to alcohol, quit cold turkey and die of shock (it can and does happen!).

When people smoke weed, terrible things happen too. They eat the whole pizza. Their pipe gets dirty. They go through taco bell and annoy the employees. They find star jones attractive (see video below).



Here's the bottom line. When you do too much alcohol, you die. When you do too much weed, you consume the fridge. It is absolutely stupid that alcohol is legal in this country and that pot is not. Alcohol kills. Pot makes The Yellow Submarine more enjoyable.

Okay, so I must admit that pot is not perfect. There are some adverse effects to smoking pot. Here is a list from familydoctor.com.
  • Trouble remembering things
  • Slowed reaction time
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Sleepiness
  • Anxiety
  • Paranoia (feeling that people are "out to get you")
  • Altered time perception
  • Increased appetite
  • Red, bloodshot eyes
Is this really anything close to or as terrible as alcohol or cigarettes? Why is it that the legal stuff is worse than the illegal stuff.

I don't drink either. I hate the taste of alcohol and the horrible feeling in the morning when you've drank too much. So if I have to do one or the other, put that beer away, and pass me the bong.

Oh and this bullshit about Michael Phelps is stupid. He could smoke cigarettes and drink 'til the cows come home and nobody would bat an eye. But the minute his lips hit that bong, he gets a suspension and looses endorsement deals. He put out a statement apologizing for his actions and saying it was immature and that he would never do it again. I understand that his agent probably made him say that but honestly, if that were me, I would have said, "Fuck you guys, I'm an adult and I'll do as I please. I like smoking. I did it once. I'm gonna do it again. Mind your own fucking business."

2 comments:

Mandar Malum said...

very true. I have never understood the appeal in alcohol anyway, and I do agree that it is way more dangerous than pot.

Asylum Seeker said...

Yes, this whole thing would be less ridiculous if it weren't for the particularly galling examples of mind-altering alcohol and body-destroying, habit-forming cigarettes being full legal sanction in our society. I mean, alcohol is an inhibition remover, cigarettes have a calming effect with the mild side effect of damaging your lungs and making you biologically dependent on continuing to use them, and marijuana gives you side effects that seem similar to what would happen if you went a day or two without sleep. It is even less addictive than the others! This is all about cultural sanction and historical precedent and it has nothing to do with logical weighing of relative harm to body or society. Pure status quo type stuff, as usual.

I wish that Phelps could have made a bold stand like the one you suggested. But, you know that it would fall on mostly deaf ears. Hopefully, as generations pass who are not indoctrinated into believing that marijuana is bad just because it is lumped in with other drugs that are illegal for good reason, that will change. Until then, speaking out too loudly while already being greeted with a public stoning (Biblical kind) would just be suicide.