Maudie's Here!

History really does repeat itself. This excerpt from an episode of All in the Family (featuring Bea Arthur as Maude) really speaks to today. Hopefully history does repeat itself in the form of televison... I'd kill to have a program today that tackled serious issues today like All in the Family did in the 1970s.

Looks Like Big Girls Do Cry...

And right there is your proof...

What Little Douchebags

Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson are such little douchebags. They are supposed to be leading the country and yet they are going on about how they want President Obama to fail. They want him to fail? They honestly want the economy to get worse and not to show any signs of any recovery until 2012 just so a republican might get the chance to get into the White House. They want unemployment to continue to raise from it's 9% now up til god know what in four years!?

This should outrage everyone. How fucky petty and selfish is this!? This is like hopeing that a doctor fucks up an operation just because you don't like them personally.

You know what, I never liked Bush. But I never ever wanted him to fail. I never wanted the war to fail. I never wanted the economy to fail. Yes, I did want a democrat to enter the White House when he left, but I didn't hope the country to go into the shitter just so my guy got elected.

This just shows out of touch these rich politicians are. Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson aren't hurting because of the economy and so they have no trouble hoping that Obama's economic recovery will fail. It just shows that to them, this is all just a game. It's just a game to them and they don't understand that to everday people it's their livelihood. They don't know what it's like to loose a job and get stuck with bills and not a dime in the bank. They don't know what it's like to have a house get forclosed on. To them, it's all just a game. These are not the type of people who should be representing the people in our government.

When it comes to something like winning a war or saving the economy, we should never want our president to fail. Saving the economy should be something that all Americans can get behind but good old fashioned bipartisan politics strikes again and shows us the real douchebags in the room. You know, in college Bobby Jindal and a few of his friends assaulted a woman and strapped her to a bed, performing a Catholic exorcism on her. They believed that she had something very evil inside her that needed exorcised out of her. I never thought I'd say this, but can somebody please strap Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson to a bed and grab me some holy water?

It's A Laaaazy Sunday!

And I'm posting a laaaazy blogpost. But they sure are funny!

A Clear Thinking Oasis (Nice Long Rant!)

Sometimes at work I long to be around smart people. Like today, a girl named Tiffany said faggot. She then caught herself and asked if I minded if she said it. I told her, "I'd rather you say faggot than nigger to be honest." She laughed and replied, "Why?" I said, "Because there is more history and hatred behind the word nigger." Laughing even harder, she replied, "Yeah right. Nigger is just fun to say!"

This next thing might seem trivial but it got under my skin. This guy named Josh told me that he didn't know how to view his own myspace page. He knew how to see new comments, but didn't know how to see his own myspace page. Really? Yeah, I know, it's silly. But it amazed me that somebody that age who actually had a myspace didn't have the knowledge to view it.

Later I overheard Josh and Bobby talking and complaining about their homework. I don't know what led to it or what the conversation was about, but I did hear bobby say, "I swear, people are just stupid. I mean, if we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys. It's that simple. And besides, science has proven that all humanity came from two people and that's exactly what the Bible says. As if we needed science to tell us that."

I didn't even say a word because I would have been there all day. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that statement. But then again, Bobby was the one who thought that President Obama was going to be kicked out as soon as they realized he was born in India and that Former President Bush would come back to fix everything he messed up.

And then there's my manager. Yes, I know it's fucky fried chicken... but this guy is an idiot (and is a head manager of a money making franchise!). He cannot spell anything worth a shit. The other day he posted a note about a meeting ... oh i'm sorry, it was actually a meating. A mandantorry meating at that. Apparently if we have any reazon why we cannot attend said meating, we are reqiered to talk to the mangement.

So perhaps I'm being picky. Either way, I thought it was funny... especially since it said that everybody had to be thier (yes, not only did he use the wrong form, he spelled it wrong too). So being the funny guy I am, I wrote a little note on the paper in the office that pointed to the misspelled words and read, "Spellcheck is a blessing. Use it."

Apparently he was so fumed when he saw it that he was seconds from calling me up on my day off and firing me. I guess he calmed down and decided to "have words" with me instead. He told me that he knows that he isn't the best speller, but that I needed to bring these things to his attention because calling them out by writing on the paper makes him look stupid (as if spelling the words horribly wrong didn't already). He also said that "not all of us went to school for computer techonology and know how to use spell check." He's 29 years old people. He's only six years older than me!

Apparently I'm dangerous at fucky fried chicken. I'm a whisteblower! There was this new policy about using paper liners on chicken. The big manager told everybody that liners cost five cents each and that for each one we waste he is taking five cents out of our paycheck (he was being dead serious). I got bitched at for blowing the whistle on this because I knew that these things couldn't possibly cost that much and all I had to do was look up in the cost book to find that per sheet that he claimed was five cents was actually a cool four hundreths of a penny each. So apparently they aren't five cents each sheet... they're 5 cents per 125 sheets.

I talked to big man manager Dan about his lying to crew members about the cost of product (cups, paper, chicken, etc) and told him that morally I found it abhorring (had to explain that word to him). I told him that in the end people will not respect him for lies and that if he wants to lower paper cost that he needs to tell the truth about how it hurts the company and not to lie about it. He told me that he did not agreed and he didn't care if people respected him or not and that the ends justified the means. Whatever. (Oh and big shocker here. This guy who makes his own shedule actively shedules himself to work so that he can get out of church but is apparenlty a devout Christian. Nothing says hypocrite like a Christian actively avoiding followers of his own faith in devotion to God by skipping church every week).

Oh and today, new rule! Apparenlty now we need to have a manager with us with their special manager key before we can clock in or out because we can't be trusted to clock in and out by ourselves. On top of that, we need the manager to issue 10% senior citizen discounts on food. Wow. When I critized this I mentioned how we were told if we clocked in early we would be wrote up and that nobody has been wrote up. I went on to expose the fact that all their threats have proven to be empty as nobody has been fired or wrote up for the miriad of rules that we were warned about (and that everybody breaks on a daily basis). I told them they had empty threats and I was told to "try them." *Rolls eyes*

So anyways, the point of my rant is this. I wish I could say that these were isolated instances of stupidity but they're not. I know this is fast food and these are teenagers but I assure that little chances as these people grow up and branch out. I wish I could say that stupidity was uncommon but it's not. I know there are smart people out there and I know there are educated people too. All three of these people voted in the 2008 election (2 for McCain, 2 surprisingly for Obama). It's days like this that I say to myself that democracy doesn't work. A democratic society cannot flourish and prosper when it's voters are fucking stupid. I would actively support a McCain/Palin presidency if it meant that all the stupid people in America magically became educated.

Usually talk at work does not go past sex and annoying customers. But every once in a while it does and on these days nihilism seeps into my brain like never before. It's like there are forty people all telling me the pen is blue when I can clearly see that the fucking pen is red! There used to be a girl named Kelly who was so smart and so well read. She was my clear thinking oasis and I miss her a lot. Even her boyfriend who volunteered for Habitat for Humanity, spending six months in Hungary building homes for low-income families, was smart. They broke up and he now works at Pizza Hut and she attends university.

I want my clear thinking oasis back. I want somebody to come to my work who can exchange intelligent statements and hypotheses.

Jesus freaks and religious nuts are so lucky. When they are surrounded by people who do not share their beliefs they can simply write it off as evil, sinful, or the AntiChrist. When we intellectuals are surrounded by people who don't understand science, religion, philosophy, psychology, etc etc etc, all we can do is take a pencil to our face and stab stab stab!!!

I often float between this strange dissonance in my desire that I was born during a much more simple time, like the 1400s. Sure I wouldn't have modern medicine, science, or a worldwide view of humanity... but boy would I be at bliss. Knowledge is a burden and sometimes I wish I was just stupid (but not really). Because then the next wish floats in, that I was born in another universe.

In this universe, I like to call it my Madam Butterfly universe, there is no religion, bullshit ideas, or mental laxity. When people want to get philosophical and ponder life and existence, they open up a book or watch a documentary about the natural processes like deep sea life, rain forest diversity, quantum mechanics, or philosophical futurism. They might read Bible tales, but not to take them seriously, but to learn more about primitive beliefs and the human experience. They would read from the Bible, the Koran, Hindu texts, Greco-Roman faith, and more to achieve a sense of man's strange path to understand himself. When they want to get out of the house, they wouldn't go drinking or clubbing. They'd go to museums of art of history or to the local Denny's to discuss literature.

I remember the first time I went to Richard Dawkins' website and saw the subtitle, A Clear Thinking Oasis. Something about it made me feel like I could sense the breeze through my hair as a stood on top of a great mountain overlooking a gorgeous natural scene (perhaps because next to the subtitle happened to be a picture of him doing just that).

Alas, the closest place to get to this is to pull up my ipod and listen to the sweet English voices of Richard Dawkins and Lalla Ward as they tell me stories about Abraham, and Moses, and the grasshopper, and the platypus as well as mitochondria and genes of a selfish nature.

I've Got An Idea... (X-Rated)

How about this? For Election 2012, Republican Candidate Bobby Jindal and Democratic Incumbent Barack Obama fuck to see who wins the White House. Whoever blows the biggest load wins. Ta-dah! I'm a genius... and not that great a photoshop. Lol.

Random Images 2

Like I said in Random Images 1, sometimes I save images for one reason or another and never do anything with them until I clean up my desktop and find them again. Here are a few.

Mainstream Media Is Such Shite

Check out what the latest poll on CNN.com is....

Oh and here's a top story on the CNN Political Ticker

I did find a really good media watchdog group that has some insightful articles here. It's called Media Matters and they do their best to correct the bullshit facts that all the major media outlets lie about.

The Level Of Stupidity and Intolernace

There is apparently a very high level of stupidity in my class. Today my professor asked, "Is anyone gonna watch the inauguration at the student hall?" A young lady who has never spoken out before said, "The what? What's that?" My professor explained what the inauguration is (choking back laughter). The girl responded, "Again!? I thought we did that in the fall." My professor said simply, "No." The girl screwed up her face and asked, "Then what was all that fuss about in the fall?"

Oh and apparently there is a high level of intolerance too. Back in the spring I recall hearing some red-neck in the computer lab saying this (paraphrased of course, insert southern twang), "Well I was online and I watched this video of this guy who said that there no way Obama Bin Ladin will be president. He said that if Obama beats Clinton that he will guarantee that he won't get in. He said, 'I'm not saying I'm gon' kill him, but if he wins the election then I tell you that somebody will make sure that nigger don't become president.' So personally I hope nigger does win the election so that way we can kill him and send a message that the only niggers that need to be in the white house are those scrubbing the floors." Haha. Doesn't today feel good?

But even though most of us have accepted (and embraced) President Obama as the 44th President of the United States of America. Some haven't. Check out a few of these outrageous websites below.

http://www.americansagainstobama.com/
http://www.againstobama.com/
http://www.obamaforgery.com/

Yes Sir Mr. President!

Do doot de-do doot de-do doo doo doo doo doo ...

Wow, isn't it nice to have a smart, educated, attractive first family!?

Definitely A Major Fucking Fail

This Picture Never Get's Old (Unlike John McCain)

Obama is almost president (and Firefox still picks it up as a spelling error). McCain and McCunt are a thing of the past (thank the gods). Here are a few swings on a great image of John McCain after a presidential debate.

George "Dubya" Bush & Li'l Cheney

How disturbing is this! I had MadTV on while I was cleaning the house and this video came on from an old episode back in 2000. Ugh, Dick Cheney is a creeper.


Almost as disturbing, here is a more recent MadTV video about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Osama Bin Laden...

Will be caught before January 19th, 2009. Gotta save the name of the Bush presidency somehow...

Because This Past Election Will Never Get Old

I will never tire of the humor that came from this last election. I found some great images from punditkitchen.com that I love. Check 'em out!

President Barack Obama

Barack Obama won the presidency. I was 96% correct on my assessment from months ago. See the post below for the way I reacted to the news as it came in throughout the historic night of November 4th, 2008. Now, can somebody please inform Firefox Spellchecker that "Barack Obama" is not a spelling error.

Election 2008 Live Blogging!!!

6:00pm - First polls closing. Live blogging has begun.

6:12pm - Testing blogger.

6:17pm - CNN has some new magic thingy that makes us see a 3D version of the White House with lots of other shit flying around it.

6:19pm - First numbers in! So far McCain is slightly ahead in Kentucky. Big shock there.

6:27pm - Obama so far leading in Indiana.

6:36pm - Things are starting to level out in Indiana with nearly 20,000 reporting. Eek!

6:38pm - What the fuck? Why is Fox News advertising on CNN?

6:42pm - God! CNN workers are so fucking proud of themselves…

6:47pm - Anderson Cooper is such a homo...

6:55pm - Wow, the pundits are getting bitchy.

6:56pm - I'm surprised to see Kentucky evening out a bit.

7:00pm - Lots of other polls closing. South Carolina, Virginia, Vermont, etc.

7:00pm - Well 0% in and CNN projecting Obama wins Vermont.
Correct with my assessment.

7:00pm - And 10% in and CNN projecting McCain wins Kentucky.
Correct with my assessment.

7:03pm - CNN has so many magical boards.

7:05pm - Virginia picks up a Democratic Senator.

7:08pm - McCain slightly ahead in Indiana. Eeeeek!

7:12pm - Ahh! Now Obama is leading by one point in Indiana.

7:14pm - 1% in on Virginia and McCain is leading. Eeeek!

7:15pm - What the fuck. Why is CNN showing off so much? Talk about tooting your own horn!

7:16pm - I've decided that CNN is the devil. They've got some magical way to beam people in like Star Wars people.

7:17pm - Ahhh, McCain is back in the lead in Indiana.

7:18pm - I love how Obama has won Vermont yet 0% of votes are in.

7:25pm - This is so stressful. McCain seems to be in the lead everywhere! Ahh!

7:26pm - John King has just explained that Rural counties are the ones that are coming in first and they are often conservative. Hope is restored.

7:30pm - North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia are now closing their polls.

7:31pm - Obama big lead in Florida at 1% reporting.

7:34pm - Wow, I just went to the Fox News website and they have a much better map to play with that shows counties.

7:39pm - If Wolf Blitzer tells me one more time he's doing the math for me I'm gonna plotz!

7:40pm - Obama currently at 1% is winning the popular vote.

7:42pm - How the fuck did Bob Barr get 10,000 people to vote for him?

7:45pm - Nobody can hear that dizzy cow, CNN!

7:56pm - CNN projecting that McCain will carry South Carolina.
Correct with my assessment.

7:58pm - A shit load of new states will be closing in a couple minutes.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Massachusetts goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Illinois goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Conneticut goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that New Jersey goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Maine goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment because Maine is not a winner take all state. I predicted 1 vote for McCain and 3 for Obama and it looks like that is how it will go.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Delaware goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Maryland goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that District of Columbia goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Oklahoma goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Tennessee goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

8:03pm - Pandora states that she loves my live blogging.

8:04pm - Obama seems to be keeping his advantage in Florida.

8:08pm - I kinda want some pretzels now that John King has told me to break them out. Maybe I'll have some popcorn...

8:19pm - Pandora shocked to find out that Anderson Cooper is gay and is dating Jonathan Chase.

8:23pm - Grrr! The Fox New Map keeps fucking up!

8:29pm - Had to pee, poop, get popcorn, and a soda pop.

8:31pm - CNN projects that New Hampsire goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:36pm - Florida in at 36% and Obama still doing well!

8:39pm - CNN projects that Pennsylvania goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:47pm - Fuck Fox News and their shitty map!

8:54pm - Haha dumb cunt Dole lost! Woo!

8:58pm - CNN projects that McCain wins Alabama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Rhode Island goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Michigan goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Wisconsin goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Minnesota goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that New York goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that North Dakota goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Wyoming goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:06pm - Amen to this old guy. Fuck the Bradley affect. The country (in general) has grown up.

9:12pm - CNN projects that Georgia goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:23pm - CNN projects that West Virginia will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:25pm - Who the fuck is this douche singing? Get him off here! Born to boogie my ass!

9:34pm - CNN projects that Ohio will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:35pm - The election is over. All hail,
President Barack Obama!

9:39pm - Oh my God. According to CNN, the McCain rally in Phoenix has turned off the news and is listening to country music instead. What's wrong? Bad night to be a republican huh?

9:41pm - Damn, looks like there won't be a casino in Ohio.

9:48pm - Mmmm, twice backed potatoes.

9:49pm - CNN projects that New Mexico will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:49pm - CNN projects that Louisiana will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:58pm - Mandar's dad told us to call "Victory Headquarters" in Ashland where this car dealership is having a McCain Victory Party.

9:59pm - Mandar's mom says that she is going to ring her victory bell so that the very republican douchebag neighbors hear about the Obama victory.

10:00pm - CNN projects that Kansas will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:00pm - CNN projects that Iowa will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

10:02pm - I guess the Mac ain't coming back!

10:05pm - Fucking cocky ass Anderson Cooper. "He's probably watching CNN." What the fuck!

10:11pm - CNN projects that Arkansas will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:22pm - CNN projects that Texas will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:24pm - CNN projects that Mississippi will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:37pm - CNN is pulling out their magic bullshit all over again. I think John King is the devil or a product thereof.

10:47pm - Ahhh! CNN is using their Star Wars voodoo magic with Will.I.Am.

10:54pm - Five bucks says that McCain runs out and screams, "Fuck you all! I was the Maverick!" and then runs over and bites Sarah Palin's shoulder.

10:59pm - CNN projects that Obama will take Virginia.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States of America.






11:00pm - CNN projects that Oregon will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that California will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that Hawaii will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that Washington will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:19pm - McCain/Palin concedes.

11:20pm - Fuck those douchebags booing when McCain mentions Obama's name. He's your goddamn president now bitches!!!

11:21pm - CNN projects that Colorado will go to Obama.
Incorrect with my assessment.

11:29pm - Hahahaha. Sarah Palin is crying! Wahahahaha!

11:58pm - Obama makes his acceptance speech.

11:59pm - What is up with Michelle's dress!? She looks pregnant!

12:16am - Woo!

12:17am - Ah-ha! There is that fat black lady who said she might not vote for Obama because Hillary lost!!! Looks like she did!

12:19am - Apparently Joe Biden is married to Jill Biden, not Tipper Gore. That's news to me!

12:20am - I asked Mandar what Cindy McCain is doing and he said "beating John McCain up" and I thought he was gonna say "beating John McCain off."

1:15am - Ughh. It's time to go to bed.

My Election Story

So it's finally the day to vote in the next president. It only comes once every 1461 days. Just months ago in the Ohio Primaries I cast my ballot for Hillary Rodham Clinton for the Democratic Party. Needless to say, she didn't get it, but I wasn't unhappy. It was quite the difficult decision between Hillary and Obama. I pretty much liked them both equally. I was so up in the air, I even had two bumper stickers on my car. One saying Hillary 2008. One saying Obama 2008.

The months passed and finally Obama choose Joe Biden as his running mate. He's a great guy with a great story and some great ideas. I just think he shouldn't speak until he's been voted in. Remember this? "I have got three letters for you Ohio... J.O.B.S." My response was "O.M.G."

So during the Democratic National Convention, I was very very happy to see open, active, and proud Democrats (kicking off with Ohio's own, Dennis Kucinich). Shortly after that came the Republican National Convention and the vetting of Sarah Palin. Need I even talk about her?

As the last two months fell through, McCain's jump, helped by Sarah Baracoochie, leveled out and Obama started to lead, and lead big he did. Finally the debates came along and Obama and Biden blew the McSame/Falin ticket out of the water. Two of the debates I got to watch in High Definition at Pandora's house. Let me just say, John McCain's face is not meant for HDTV.

Eventually I used CNN's Interactive Electoral Map to asses my own thoughts of how the map will look when it's all said and done. This is what I predicted on September 24th and I still stand by my prediction. Today, I'm willing to bet that I'll be at least 90% correct. Guess we'll find out in just a matter of hours.


334 Electorial College Votes Go To Barack Obama
204 Electorial College Votes Go To John McCain

So here we go. It's the eleventh hour and soon enough we will have a new president chosen. This morning around 7:13am I voted for Barack Hussein Obama (and every other Democrat on the list for a matter of fact). Tonight I'll be live blogging and giving my thoughts as the minutes go by. So here's my final thought. No matter who wins tonight, American history will be made.

One Day To Go!!!

It's the day before the election and I thought I'd just post some of my favorite political cartoons from the last month. Tomorrow I will be "live blogging" from 6pm til' I feel I'm done and then I'll post. Can't wait!

3 Out Of 4 Strategists Agree!

Here are what four strategists have to say about what is likely to happen on Tuesday.


James Carville, Democratic Strategist: "Barack Obama takes the election by winning 365 electoral votes; the Democrats pick up 9 Senate seats and 27 House seats."


Leslie Sanchez, Republican Strategist: "If John McCain is within four points of Obama in the final polls, there’s a chance for a McCain win. The Democrats won’t pick up 9 Senate seats because Sen. Norm Coleman will beat Al Franken in the Minnesota Senate race."


Paul Begala, Democratic Strategist: "Obama wins with a minimum of 325 electoral votes. The Democrats pick up 7 or 8 Senate seats, which gives them the freedom to kick Joe Lieberman out of the Democratic caucus."


Alex Castellanos, Republican Strategist: "Obama wins with 318 electoral votes, which he gains by carrying Florida, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Colorado, New Mexico and Nevada. McCain wins Ohio and North Carolina. The Democrats wind up with 59 Senate seats, but Sen. Mary Landrieu, D- Louisiana, loses her re-election bid."

Which reminds me. John McCain has predicted today that he will win Pennsylvania as well the Presidency. Psssh!