13 December 2008

Fuck You, Fuck You, You're Cool, Fuck You...

What a fucking day. I'm gonna go ahead and divide this whole post up into "Fuck You!" and "You're Cool." I think it will be most fitting for this roller coaster of a day.

Fuck You #1: The Traffic Lights In Ontario
So Mandar and I went to go see The Day The Earth Stood Still at about 11 this morning. I had to work 4pm to Close today so we went to see the early showing. Once we got to Ontario frustration set in. I swear to god that the lights are completely fucked up. They stay red for 10 minutes. They stay green for 10 seconds. Arrrrggggh!

Fuck You #2: The Douchebags Behind Us
In the movie there was this couple behind us a few rows that talked quite a bit. The most annoying part was when Jennifer Connolly's character whispered to Klaatu "run" and the guy was like "What did she say!?"

You're Cool #1: The Film
Despite the fucking critics, I really enjoyed the film. Rotten Tomatoes has it at a 22% but I really like it. The critics seemed far to perturbed by the film's message (that humans are destroying the earth). However, when a fucking cartoon robot says the same exact thing, they jizz their pants. They also complain cos Keanu Reeves is emotionless. He's playing a FUCKING alien! One critic said he hated it before he even watched it cos you just can't remake the 1951 original. Jesus Christ!!! So yeah, really good film actually. The special effects were great and John Cleese and Kathy Bates were amazing (like always).

Fuck You #3: Christmas Shopping Traffic
Every single fucking person on EARTH was shopping in Ontario. It took forever just to get down the street.

Fuck You #4: The Airpump At Speedway
My front tires were a little low so I decided to fill them up a little bit. I stopped at Speedway but their fucking pump was broke. Jesus!

Fuck You #5: That Bitch At Circle K
So we got to Circle K to get gas and put a little air in the tires. I went in to prepay and this dumb bitch in front of us took FOREVER buying cigarettes and lottery tickets.

Fuck You #6: The Bitch At Great Clips
So we both get our hair cut at Great Clips. It's cheap. We're guys. We're cheap. Big deal. Wanna fight about it? So we go there and they asked our number and name. By chance we both happen to have the same first name (however I go by my middle name). The dumb bitch could not accept that two people both could live under the same roof with the same first name.

Fuck You #7: The Cashier's Office At School
So I had to pay my first payment for my winter quarter fees. I have to sign this paper but the fucking cash office was closed so now I have to go back again sometime this week to sign the paper. Urgh!

Fuck You #8: Ms. Trainee
So we got back to Great Clips (because the wait was rather long) and we got our hair cut. Mandar had a nice lady who did a good job. I had this dumb 16 year old girl (I swear she was). She didn't do a horrible job, but what irked me was that after she was done she said, "Okay, lemme get somebody to check this for me. I'm still in training." Are you fucking kidding me!? You couldn't have divulged this ahead of time?

Fuck You #9: The Popeye's Management
So we go through Popeye's Chicken for lunch and it takes forever and ever and ever. Finally the guy tells us that when he runs the card it says "Referral" and he doesn't know what the means. After the movie and all, all I had was four dollars and my debit card. I told him that's all I had, expecting that he would understand and give us the meal for only four bucks or so since it's their credit card machine's fault, but no! What a douche!

Fuck You #10: Bitchy McDonald's Lady
So, pissed off, hungry, and angry, we stopped through McDonalds. The card was denied. What. The. Fuck! I know we have money in the bank. So I ended up having to use my credit card to pay for the food. Which in retrospect I could have done at Popeye's as well. But of course I felt like a douche having my debit card denied.

Fuck You #11: Richland Bank's Saturday Hours
So I was furious! I immediately called my bank. It was 3:04pm. My bank closed at 3:00pm. Grr!!!

Fuck You #12: My Fucking Bank!
So on the way home Mandar and I speculated that one of three things must have happened. Either one, our card number was stolen again (two years ago it happened twice). Or two, Mandar's paycheck bounced (this happened several years ago before he worked there). Or three, nothing was wrong and our bank was fucked up. Either way, I knew all I had to do was to log into my online banking and check what the fuck was up. I logged in. My balance was $284.76. Now after 6 hours of work, it's still $284.76. Not negative. Positive. So what the fuck is the issue!?!?!?! I guess tomorrow when I call up the bank and ream their asses I will find out.

Fuck You #13: 3 Doors Down
I don't know how I forgot this. But FUCK YOU 3 Doors Down! What a fucking sell out you are. Shooting a music video for the fucking military to try and get more kids to enter into the army. I hated 3 Doors Down to begin with, this just bumped it into a whole new bracket! I love how they make war out to be so simple and so heroic. Clearly they have no fucking idea.


Mandar Malum said...

Yeah, the day pretty much sucked this morning, save for the movie which I thought was awesome.

And yes, 3 doors down are sell outs, nothing like a douche bag band making their new song a commercial for the military that looks like you are gonna go out and have fun playing Call of Duty...

tina FCD said...

Holy fucking shit, I love your post. (am I allowed to say "fuck"?) :)

All that in one day? :(

Asylum Seeker said...

Gotta love the only thing that got a "you're cool" wasn't a person.
Did not know about 3 doors down selling out for the army. But, I guess they'd do anything to get the words "3 doors down" and "sell" used in the same sentence. Zing!

As for the movie: yeah, I've heard it panned by critics despite most people who aren't paid to be blowhards saying that they enjoyed it. And usually the complaints were all for the inane reasons you gave ("OMG!! Remakes!? How dare you!?" mostly. Whining because Keanu Reeves is emotionless when playing the role of a mysterious space alien dude is even more hilarious though).