Maudie's Here!

History really does repeat itself. This excerpt from an episode of All in the Family (featuring Bea Arthur as Maude) really speaks to today. Hopefully history does repeat itself in the form of televison... I'd kill to have a program today that tackled serious issues today like All in the Family did in the 1970s.

Mayonnaise and White Bread

This is one of my favorite moments from the Golden Girls. I really wish I could see the whole comic strip...

This One's A Panty Creamer!

I didn't cream my pants... but I might soon (when I get my hands on the entire Manson CD). This last week 6 of the 15 tracks off of Marilyn Manson's upcoming CD The High End of Low were leaked. One of the songs he officially put out and it's called "We're From America." I absolutely love this track. Especially lyrics like, "we're from America, it's where Jesus was born," and "we're from America, where we speak American," and of course, "we're form America, we turn literature into litter."

I love how this sounds like the really good days of Manson. My favorite album of his was Holy Wood and I never expected him to return to that kinda sound. Don't get me wrong, I love all of his CDs, but this new sound from The High End of Low sounds great!

The leaked songs are the following:

1. Arma-God-Damn-Mother-Fuckin'-Geddon
2. We're From America
3. The Wow
4. Into The Fire
5. Four Rusted Horses
6. May Be Harmful If Swallowed
   

Below you can hear "Arma-God-Damn-Mother-Fuckin'-Geddon" and "We're From America." Squee!!!! Oh... and the reason I named this post "This One's A Panty Creamer" is because after I told Mandar's cousin Aurora that I would burn her the new stuff she sent me a text that said "Ooo! I can't wait... he makes me cream my pants lol!"



Addition: According to sources close to Manson, the only "complete" track that has been leaked is "We're From America." Apparently the other five are demos or incomplete versions. Either way. They're still great! Especially Arma! By the way. The High End Of Low comes out on May 25th!

Addition #2: Fuckers removed the second video. WHY!? You can hear it for free on Manson's myspace page.

"Dino-Tacular!" or "Evo-Mazing!"

Today Mandar and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History and it was amazing. Everything was just so beautiful. When you walk in standing right in the middle after the front desk is a young Tyrannosaurus Rex (well, it's bones that is). First we saw a presentation at the planetarium which was beautiful. It really felt like the night sky was right above us. Then we looked around at the animal taxidermy. Next we went outside to see the live animals they had (foxes, bobcats, raccoons, deer). We also got to see a Native American canoe that was found in the river which we live next to!

My favorite part of all was after we came back inside and went to the prehistoric area. They had a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Triceratops and a Brontosaurus. Oh and this fucking huge mammoth! After that we looked around at the great apes exhibit which had a huge display on human evolution. There was an area about the big bang, technonics, geology... UGH! It was just so great. Even the museum store rocked! I got a T-Rex Keychain and a bumper sticker that reads "Evolution Happens." We also got a mug and Mandar got an arrow head and shark tooth.

It was so fantastic that we decided to get a membership there! It's totally affordable and will pay for itself. We'll get info on lectures, symposiums, planetarium programs, and even get to attend exhibit launch parties! Membership is so cheap that it will pay for itself by the end of the year.

Remember that clear thinking oasis I longed for? I found it!

*Below are a shit ton of pictures I took on my phone. What made me laugh was that in the space exhibit under the information regarding earth it read "Evidence of possible intelligent life." Lol. Yeah right.

Mythologies and Green Fields

Last December I got obsessed with a Nintendo DS came called Age of Empire: Mythologies, which is a Nintendo DS remake of the hit PC game. Basically it's a war game that takes place in ancient and mythological Egypt, Rome, and Scandinavia. It's stop action so you take one step at a time which gives you plenty of time to use strategy, much like Chess. I don't really know what else to say about it... besides it's amazing. Unfortunately being a stop action game, it consumes a lot of time and I've been playing it a lot once again. The other night I started playing it at 10:45pm and didn't put it down until around 4am.

Another something I've gotten back into again is Corner Gas. It's a Canadian sitcom that airs on CTV in Canada and WGN in America. Mandar and I saw a commercial for it last year and it looked absolutely stupid. We kept seeing the commercial over and over again and decided to DVR it just to see how stupid it was. And to be honest, I didn't like it the first time. But then I watched another episode (they air two at a time) and for some reason it sun.

It takes place in ficticious Dog River, Saskatchewan. I think the entire series is filmed in the last spring because every single episode (including the Christmas special) occurs during a nice sunny day. The beautiful green fields and the lovely cozy diner. It really makes you want to move to the nice and peaceful fake town. If I could move to any fake place, it'd be Dog River.

I love the charactors too. They too make you want to move there. They're so much more realistic than the plastic shit that's seen on American television. Oscar is the old grouchy man (my favorite episode with him was when he became the town's bus driver). Emma is Oscar's wife who is kinda bitchy, but in the loving motherly way. The show main charactor is Brent who owns a gas station. Basically the whole show revolves around the gas station and the diner (The Ruby) whic his attached to it.

Wanda (the most educated one there) works as the cashier at the gas station. Lacy (who is a dead ringer for Wonder Woman) runs and owns the diner next door. Hank is Brent's lazy and stupid best friend. Oh, and Karen and Davis are the town's two cops. Their hilarious relationship is also a gem in the show.

Take a lesson America. This is what we call a good show. Realistic, quarky, well-written, and most of all, cozy. Below are some great clips from the show I've found on YouTube.

A Clear Thinking Oasis (Nice Long Rant!)

Sometimes at work I long to be around smart people. Like today, a girl named Tiffany said faggot. She then caught herself and asked if I minded if she said it. I told her, "I'd rather you say faggot than nigger to be honest." She laughed and replied, "Why?" I said, "Because there is more history and hatred behind the word nigger." Laughing even harder, she replied, "Yeah right. Nigger is just fun to say!"

This next thing might seem trivial but it got under my skin. This guy named Josh told me that he didn't know how to view his own myspace page. He knew how to see new comments, but didn't know how to see his own myspace page. Really? Yeah, I know, it's silly. But it amazed me that somebody that age who actually had a myspace didn't have the knowledge to view it.

Later I overheard Josh and Bobby talking and complaining about their homework. I don't know what led to it or what the conversation was about, but I did hear bobby say, "I swear, people are just stupid. I mean, if we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys. It's that simple. And besides, science has proven that all humanity came from two people and that's exactly what the Bible says. As if we needed science to tell us that."

I didn't even say a word because I would have been there all day. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that statement. But then again, Bobby was the one who thought that President Obama was going to be kicked out as soon as they realized he was born in India and that Former President Bush would come back to fix everything he messed up.

And then there's my manager. Yes, I know it's fucky fried chicken... but this guy is an idiot (and is a head manager of a money making franchise!). He cannot spell anything worth a shit. The other day he posted a note about a meeting ... oh i'm sorry, it was actually a meating. A mandantorry meating at that. Apparently if we have any reazon why we cannot attend said meating, we are reqiered to talk to the mangement.

So perhaps I'm being picky. Either way, I thought it was funny... especially since it said that everybody had to be thier (yes, not only did he use the wrong form, he spelled it wrong too). So being the funny guy I am, I wrote a little note on the paper in the office that pointed to the misspelled words and read, "Spellcheck is a blessing. Use it."

Apparently he was so fumed when he saw it that he was seconds from calling me up on my day off and firing me. I guess he calmed down and decided to "have words" with me instead. He told me that he knows that he isn't the best speller, but that I needed to bring these things to his attention because calling them out by writing on the paper makes him look stupid (as if spelling the words horribly wrong didn't already). He also said that "not all of us went to school for computer techonology and know how to use spell check." He's 29 years old people. He's only six years older than me!

Apparently I'm dangerous at fucky fried chicken. I'm a whisteblower! There was this new policy about using paper liners on chicken. The big manager told everybody that liners cost five cents each and that for each one we waste he is taking five cents out of our paycheck (he was being dead serious). I got bitched at for blowing the whistle on this because I knew that these things couldn't possibly cost that much and all I had to do was look up in the cost book to find that per sheet that he claimed was five cents was actually a cool four hundreths of a penny each. So apparently they aren't five cents each sheet... they're 5 cents per 125 sheets.

I talked to big man manager Dan about his lying to crew members about the cost of product (cups, paper, chicken, etc) and told him that morally I found it abhorring (had to explain that word to him). I told him that in the end people will not respect him for lies and that if he wants to lower paper cost that he needs to tell the truth about how it hurts the company and not to lie about it. He told me that he did not agreed and he didn't care if people respected him or not and that the ends justified the means. Whatever. (Oh and big shocker here. This guy who makes his own shedule actively shedules himself to work so that he can get out of church but is apparenlty a devout Christian. Nothing says hypocrite like a Christian actively avoiding followers of his own faith in devotion to God by skipping church every week).

Oh and today, new rule! Apparenlty now we need to have a manager with us with their special manager key before we can clock in or out because we can't be trusted to clock in and out by ourselves. On top of that, we need the manager to issue 10% senior citizen discounts on food. Wow. When I critized this I mentioned how we were told if we clocked in early we would be wrote up and that nobody has been wrote up. I went on to expose the fact that all their threats have proven to be empty as nobody has been fired or wrote up for the miriad of rules that we were warned about (and that everybody breaks on a daily basis). I told them they had empty threats and I was told to "try them." *Rolls eyes*

So anyways, the point of my rant is this. I wish I could say that these were isolated instances of stupidity but they're not. I know this is fast food and these are teenagers but I assure that little chances as these people grow up and branch out. I wish I could say that stupidity was uncommon but it's not. I know there are smart people out there and I know there are educated people too. All three of these people voted in the 2008 election (2 for McCain, 2 surprisingly for Obama). It's days like this that I say to myself that democracy doesn't work. A democratic society cannot flourish and prosper when it's voters are fucking stupid. I would actively support a McCain/Palin presidency if it meant that all the stupid people in America magically became educated.

Usually talk at work does not go past sex and annoying customers. But every once in a while it does and on these days nihilism seeps into my brain like never before. It's like there are forty people all telling me the pen is blue when I can clearly see that the fucking pen is red! There used to be a girl named Kelly who was so smart and so well read. She was my clear thinking oasis and I miss her a lot. Even her boyfriend who volunteered for Habitat for Humanity, spending six months in Hungary building homes for low-income families, was smart. They broke up and he now works at Pizza Hut and she attends university.

I want my clear thinking oasis back. I want somebody to come to my work who can exchange intelligent statements and hypotheses.

Jesus freaks and religious nuts are so lucky. When they are surrounded by people who do not share their beliefs they can simply write it off as evil, sinful, or the AntiChrist. When we intellectuals are surrounded by people who don't understand science, religion, philosophy, psychology, etc etc etc, all we can do is take a pencil to our face and stab stab stab!!!

I often float between this strange dissonance in my desire that I was born during a much more simple time, like the 1400s. Sure I wouldn't have modern medicine, science, or a worldwide view of humanity... but boy would I be at bliss. Knowledge is a burden and sometimes I wish I was just stupid (but not really). Because then the next wish floats in, that I was born in another universe.

In this universe, I like to call it my Madam Butterfly universe, there is no religion, bullshit ideas, or mental laxity. When people want to get philosophical and ponder life and existence, they open up a book or watch a documentary about the natural processes like deep sea life, rain forest diversity, quantum mechanics, or philosophical futurism. They might read Bible tales, but not to take them seriously, but to learn more about primitive beliefs and the human experience. They would read from the Bible, the Koran, Hindu texts, Greco-Roman faith, and more to achieve a sense of man's strange path to understand himself. When they want to get out of the house, they wouldn't go drinking or clubbing. They'd go to museums of art of history or to the local Denny's to discuss literature.

I remember the first time I went to Richard Dawkins' website and saw the subtitle, A Clear Thinking Oasis. Something about it made me feel like I could sense the breeze through my hair as a stood on top of a great mountain overlooking a gorgeous natural scene (perhaps because next to the subtitle happened to be a picture of him doing just that).

Alas, the closest place to get to this is to pull up my ipod and listen to the sweet English voices of Richard Dawkins and Lalla Ward as they tell me stories about Abraham, and Moses, and the grasshopper, and the platypus as well as mitochondria and genes of a selfish nature.

In Celebration Of...

In celebration of Darwin's 200th Birthday, I'd like to suggest that we all read, "The Ancestor's Tale" by Richard Dawkins. It is one of the most interesting books I've ever read in my life. If this eye opening book doesn't make you make you marvel at the processes of evolution and the accomplishes of science, nothing will.

Ever ponder the strangeness of the platypus and think, "How does this fall into the evolutionary tree?" Ever wanted to know what science has to say about racism and the differences between the human races? Ever thought, "I understand how life evolved and evolves, but how did it start in the very first place."

This book will change the way you think about life, sex, racism, reproduction, and the animal kingdom. Dawkins takes a backwards step from today to the beginning of life on earth a little bit at a time, describing how changes in evolution that created what we are today.

Here's a consciousness raising fact. We are all the product of winners. All of our ancestors were winners because they all succeeded in passing down their genes to the next generation. None of us have any ancestors who were failures, because if they failed, they wouldn't be our ancestors.

If you're poor you can download the audiobook here for free. It's elegantly done by Richard Dawkins and his wife Lalla Ward. If you can afford it, pick it up. My own copy is in the mail right now from Amazon.

Lest We Forget The AntiChrist Superstar!

I am a big fan of Marilyn Manson. Later this year he will be coming out with a new album called "The High End of Low." I'm so pumped to hear the new single called "I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies."

Now his last CD "Eat Me, Drink Me" was really good. But it was short and most of the songs were slow and mellow. I still loved it, but I'm excited for some new shit that Manson has described as being a lot like his older stuff.

So in celebrating Marilyn Manson, below I've complied my top 10 favorite songs by him, as well as my top favorite 3 music videos.

And yes, as strange as it might seem, for the last week or so I've been listening pretty much to nothing but Marilyn Manson and Gokhan Ozen (see post below). Talk about a diverse musical taste!

My Personal Top Ten Marilyn Manson Songs

1. "Disposable Teens"
2. "The Beautiful People"
3. "Rock Is Dead"
4. "The Fight Song"
5. " Use Your Fist And Not Your Mouth""
   
6. "The Dope Show"
7. "Coma White"
8. "The Reflecting God"
9. "The Death Song"
10. "This Is The New Shit"

Yes Sir Mr. President!

Do doot de-do doot de-do doo doo doo doo doo ...

Wow, isn't it nice to have a smart, educated, attractive first family!?

International Music Expo

Here are just a few of the international music stars that are rocking my ipod. This music is way better than the shit being pumped out of America. Sample at your own risk. It's all pretty addictive.

Tarkan "Hup"
Turkey


Sarbel "Takse Mou"
Greece


Anna David "Fick Dich"
Denmark


Nightwish "Bye Bye Beautiful"
Finland/Sweden


t.A.T.u. "220"
Russia

My New Favorite Quote

"America is a lot like Jessica Simpson; she's pretty dumb and sometimes embarrasses you... but damn look at them titties!" - Bill Maher

Promotional Message

The Labyrinth has been added to The Atheist Blogroll. You can see the blogroll in my sidebar. The Atheist blogroll is a community building service provided free of charge to Atheist bloggers from around the world. If you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts for more information.

If I Was Only 40 Years Older

It's time to express my love for a certain man on this earth who really has changed my life. I think about him quite a lot and he's provided a great deal of inspiration for me. If I was only 40 years older and he was gay or I was a female, I'd be all up in Richard Dawkins.

He's a no bullshit maverick who rides the straight talk express. No not Cranky McNasty. Dr. Clinton Richard Dawkins has written eight books on evolution and one on religion, all of which embracing the ideals of many which find the earth, universe, and reality to be far more marvelous without god.

He has also created seven amazingly brilliant documentaries on the fact of evolution as well as his abhorrence for organized religion (including Christianity which holds a special place in his heart).

Several years ago he started what is known as the atheist moment urging atheists to 'come out' and profess their godlessness (which, believe it or not, is 20% of the population on earth, nearly all of which are the elite and educated).

Check out this horrible video where Bill O'Riley attempts to make Dawkins look stupid (in farness, O'Riley always sucks at interviewing)



In the spirit of equal play, here is how CNN interviewed Dawkins.



That black guy asked where do atheists get their morals from? He says that he gets his morals from God and the Bible which is funny because if that were true he would have stoned those women to death for attempting to be his equal.

So that is my quick boast of love for Richard Dawkins, which I must add does him no justice, there is a plethora of better interviews, speaches, and debates from him on his own website and on YouTube. I encourage everyone to luster in his glory.

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL

Love it! Spot on!

"No Way. No How. No McCain."

Go Hillary! Fantastic speech! "You haven't worked so hard over the last 18 months, or endured the last eight years, to suffer through more failed leadership." She has been a class act. Now, for the love of all that is holy, VOTE FOR OBAMA!

Finally Some Pissed Of Democrats!

"Wake Up, America!" shouted Rep. Dennis Kucinich on Tuesday night at the Democratic National Convention. Finally! I've been waiting and waiting for some pissed off democrats to finally show how pissed off they are the tragedy known as the Bush Administration. "If there were an Olympics for misleading, mismanaging and misappropriating, this administration would take the gold. We cannot afford another Republican administration." A-fucking-men! Kucinich is finally making feel proud to be from Ohio.