01 December 2008

I'm Not Buying It, Michael Phelps

So, I'm fucking tired of seeing this god damned commercial with Michael "Butterface" Phelps for Rosetta Stone. First of all, he bullshits us by claiming that he wanted to learn Chinese before he went to the 2008 Olympics. Yeah right! Save for cultural submersion, it takes years to learn a language as different as Chinese. I like how you see him using the product but never hear him actually say a word in Chinese. The commercial makes it sound as if he learned to speak Chinese fluently. I was so done with Phelps like a week after the Olympics.

Final thought: Boo on Michael Phelps for being such a product whore. Boo on Rosetta Stone for being such a ... poopy head product! Oh and yes, I purposely left out his face in the image above.

Well fuck me in the ass! I dare make fun on one commercial only to see one 100 times worse. You know, you flip it over to the Science Channel and watch some great programing from astrophysicist Michio Kaku and you just expect that total bullshit might be starved off for only a moment. Oh no!

Introducing, the Snuggie!

It's like a blanket... but it has ARMS! Jesus Fucking Christ! My head exploded when I saw this thing advertised. Are you serious!? Have you never heard a of a fucking ROBE!!!! These people look like cult members. I like how they talk about how you can wear it around your house and your dorm to keep warm... like a ROBE!

Rule of thumb. If it's advertised on TV. It's bullshit!

Okay, those are fucking cult members. They are supplying death robes for the next great suicide cult.

Addendum: So every year I tend to wage war on something. This year has gone by pretty smooth. Usually I wage war on Christmas but I've been okay this year. Now, I've decided to wage WAR on the Snuggie. This guy from YouTube understands... (lol, I love the thing he says at about 7:02. He sounds just like Lewis Black).

A blanket... WITH SLEEVES!


Mandar Malum said...

Its so true, it looks like something cult members wear. Good thing it comes in three colors, to show of your rank or sect of belief!

I find it discerning how difficult it is to use a blanket these days... there are so many things I wish i could be doing, but damn, my hands are under the blanket...

Asylum Seeker said...

You know, if they just outright marketed the Snuggie as cultist regalia that you could wear to bed, I would be asking to max out my credit card as we speak. But, just because it is called a "Snuggie", I have to decline.

Pandora said...

Haha omg I just saw this commercial the other day...I wish I had one...I feel very handicapped under a blanket...I wish I could have use of my hands AND stay warm!