25 March 2009

DIC (Deceptive Immoral Chicken)

So, yeah, I know. I just posted that I've been too busy writing my book to write in this blog but I just had to write about this. I just returned from my stupid KFC work meeting (yeah, they have meetings for crew members) and I must tell you all two extremely stupid things.

The first is the immorality. The other day my boss was taking an order from a little old lady who was both nice and polite. She asked for an 8-piece meal which costs $18 (comes with 8 pieces of chicken, 2 sides, 4 biscuits). Now, we have a special running on TV for a 10-piece meal which costs only $15 (comes with 10 pieces of chicken, 3 sides, 5 biscuits). The 10-piece is cheaper and it comes with more. So I started to stay, "You know, if you rang her up for the 10-piece it would be cheaper for her." He gave me an angry look and said, "Ssshhh shhh!" Later on he told me that giving out specials to people who don't specifically ask for them "hurts his bottom line." That's his new slogan. I replied, "What if that were your grandmother? Would you really charge her more simply because she didn't know we had a special." He gave me a funny look and smiled, "Yeah!"

What a fucking douche.

Now for the dumbest shit ever. KFC is getting ready to unveil this new "Kentucky Grilled Chicken" which we will be getting on April 14th. Now, this "grilled" chicken is not actually grilled... it's baked. And to top it off, if somebody asks us, "How do you guys grill your chicken?" We are supposed to reply, "It's KFC's secret." We are not allowed to tell them the truth.

Yeah, right.

I don't get it. I'm just of one of those people who have trouble lying for no good reason. I've often been labeled as a "whistle-blower" at KFC. I'm apparently dangerous! How am I gonna keep my mouth shut about this? It's so fucking stupid! Just call it baked chicken! Our fried chicken really is deep fried. Why can't our grilled chicken really be grilled? I just don't get it. Why should I let my honestly be completely thrown out the window... over CHICKEN!

Oh and while I'm at it, lets address the KFC commercial they keep playing. In it they show some nice clean 28 year old lady who says something like, "Hi, I'm the chef. Every KFC has a chef. Every day I make KFC's secret recipe from scratch." Okay, the truth is this. There is no chef. There are a couple of dirty male teenagers who are using pre-packaged flour recipe that is made every three or four days and kept in a freezer. Also, Tyson does not make our chicken, despite what the commercial wants you to think.

Now, there is also a commercial going on and on about our new 99 cent and up menu. They go on and on about a huge list of items that you can get for only 99 cents and up. Below is an image that contains the items on our value menu. Those in color are the ones that actually are 99 cents. Those in black and white are 1.49 or 1.99. But hey! It only 99 cents!... and up

I don't get it. Why can't they just advetise it as 0.99, 1.49, and 1.99? Taco bell advertises their value menu as being at three prices. Why can't we? I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to pissed off customers that we don't really have a 99 cent menu. I can't wait til next spring when I graduate and get away from this corrupt company. At least I used to have a good manager until she was forced to quit and was replaced by a "good christian man." Psssh. Whatever!


Mandar Malum said...

KFC sucks sometimes...

mac said...

I think when eating animal flesh, mammals are just tastier :-)

Birds are OK. Fish, maybe...reptiles, NEVER !

Asylum Seeker said...

Looks like the pinnacle of truthiness over there. It actually seems kinda funny at a distance. Though I am sure it would be infuriating to actually have to deal with it. Especially not being allowed to tell people what the best deal is. The baked "grilled" chicken is just stupid rather than evil, as is the lack of a 99 cent menu when they specifically advertise the existence of one.