The Honeymoon Is Officially Over

Like always, when the guy you voted for gets into the white house, you have a honeymoon period where you glow with glory for having picked the better guy. Eventually you learn that even though he's the lesser of two evils, he's still a politician.

The honeymoon is over.

This last week President Obama shot down quite assholily (new word) the idea of legalizing marijuana to help stimulate the economy. This sorta pissed me off and showed me that the honeymoon really was over. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's president. But like all adults, after a while we have to accept that we never 100% agree with a pick for president on all issues.

But I know his game. He's a politician and he knows that right now he needs to make sure that he's still gonna be president in four years. We all know how the right wing would react if the "nigga president" legalized weed. After all, four little douchebags all sent me the exact same text a few days ego outlining their "Obama Stimulus Package" as being a bag of weed and some chicken. Three of these four people being people who openly enjoy weed and chicken. All four of these people being republican.

I might have to paraphrase here. But Mos Def said something smart recently, "If we live in a country were you can smoke cigarettes, drink bear at eight o'clock in the morning, and watch every type of pornography out there... why not legalize weed and make some fucking money off it."

The police don't want to police it. The people want to smoke it. We need to start making money. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS STILL ILLEGAL!? Why are we wasting so much money locking up people for a victimless crime.

For Obama to mock "huh huh, I don't know what's going on on the internet, huh huh," is offending. I guess the internet is just full of potheads, right? Like Bill Maher said, that was a McCain answer.

By the way, this is the number one thing on people's mind right now. Not because we're all dying to toke up, but because we want to get rid of this stupid ban on marijuana. Because instead of wasting money on police and jails locking pot smokers up. We should be selling marijuana at street value and making a glorious prophet. Unlike Pandora's boyfriend, I have no desire to smoke weed all day long while doing nothing else, whether I'm rich or not. But I don't want my tax dollars going to busting kids and poor people for enjoying the euphoria that marijuana brings. If marijuana was legal today I wouldn't smoke it. Just like cigarettes, I don't need it and I don't wanna spend my money on it. Believe me, I could get a ton of weed in a heartbeat tomorrow if I wanted it. But the fact that I don't smoke doesn't make me want to stop anyone else from smoking.

The definition of stupid is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We've been wasting away billions of dollars and lives on a failed drug war for 30 years and yet we haven't tried a new game plan. I firmly believe that all drugs should be legal. Every single one of them.

In America I'm allowed to buy a firearm and go home and blow my brains out. But I'm not allowed to buy a dime bag and suddenly think that Across The Universe is a good film or become so deluded that Dane Cook is suddenly funny.

Bottom line: The drug war failed. Marijuana is safe. Legalize!

Below is video from Bill Maher's latest episode of Real Time that sparked this blogpost.

I'm Really Into Asian Chicks...

Especially right now. But not like that! Dirty minds! But for some reason I am all over music from Asian artists. First I was plotzing over Utada Hikaru's new CD and now I'm totally into this new girl from Korea named Boa Kwon. She's got a lot more sass than old Hungfutada. Check out her first English single below. Oh and yes, now we're beginning to tread into the waters of guilty pleasure. Man, if I were straight, I would totally beat off to her.

What Little Douchebags

Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson are such little douchebags. They are supposed to be leading the country and yet they are going on about how they want President Obama to fail. They want him to fail? They honestly want the economy to get worse and not to show any signs of any recovery until 2012 just so a republican might get the chance to get into the White House. They want unemployment to continue to raise from it's 9% now up til god know what in four years!?

This should outrage everyone. How fucky petty and selfish is this!? This is like hopeing that a doctor fucks up an operation just because you don't like them personally.

You know what, I never liked Bush. But I never ever wanted him to fail. I never wanted the war to fail. I never wanted the economy to fail. Yes, I did want a democrat to enter the White House when he left, but I didn't hope the country to go into the shitter just so my guy got elected.

This just shows out of touch these rich politicians are. Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson aren't hurting because of the economy and so they have no trouble hoping that Obama's economic recovery will fail. It just shows that to them, this is all just a game. It's just a game to them and they don't understand that to everday people it's their livelihood. They don't know what it's like to loose a job and get stuck with bills and not a dime in the bank. They don't know what it's like to have a house get forclosed on. To them, it's all just a game. These are not the type of people who should be representing the people in our government.

When it comes to something like winning a war or saving the economy, we should never want our president to fail. Saving the economy should be something that all Americans can get behind but good old fashioned bipartisan politics strikes again and shows us the real douchebags in the room. You know, in college Bobby Jindal and a few of his friends assaulted a woman and strapped her to a bed, performing a Catholic exorcism on her. They believed that she had something very evil inside her that needed exorcised out of her. I never thought I'd say this, but can somebody please strap Bobby Jindal and Fred Thompson to a bed and grab me some holy water?

DIC (Deceptive Immoral Chicken)

So, yeah, I know. I just posted that I've been too busy writing my book to write in this blog but I just had to write about this. I just returned from my stupid KFC work meeting (yeah, they have meetings for crew members) and I must tell you all two extremely stupid things.

The first is the immorality. The other day my boss was taking an order from a little old lady who was both nice and polite. She asked for an 8-piece meal which costs $18 (comes with 8 pieces of chicken, 2 sides, 4 biscuits). Now, we have a special running on TV for a 10-piece meal which costs only $15 (comes with 10 pieces of chicken, 3 sides, 5 biscuits). The 10-piece is cheaper and it comes with more. So I started to stay, "You know, if you rang her up for the 10-piece it would be cheaper for her." He gave me an angry look and said, "Ssshhh shhh!" Later on he told me that giving out specials to people who don't specifically ask for them "hurts his bottom line." That's his new slogan. I replied, "What if that were your grandmother? Would you really charge her more simply because she didn't know we had a special." He gave me a funny look and smiled, "Yeah!"

What a fucking douche.

Now for the dumbest shit ever. KFC is getting ready to unveil this new "Kentucky Grilled Chicken" which we will be getting on April 14th. Now, this "grilled" chicken is not actually grilled... it's baked. And to top it off, if somebody asks us, "How do you guys grill your chicken?" We are supposed to reply, "It's KFC's secret." We are not allowed to tell them the truth.

Yeah, right.

I don't get it. I'm just of one of those people who have trouble lying for no good reason. I've often been labeled as a "whistle-blower" at KFC. I'm apparently dangerous! How am I gonna keep my mouth shut about this? It's so fucking stupid! Just call it baked chicken! Our fried chicken really is deep fried. Why can't our grilled chicken really be grilled? I just don't get it. Why should I let my honestly be completely thrown out the window... over CHICKEN!

Oh and while I'm at it, lets address the KFC commercial they keep playing. In it they show some nice clean 28 year old lady who says something like, "Hi, I'm the chef. Every KFC has a chef. Every day I make KFC's secret recipe from scratch." Okay, the truth is this. There is no chef. There are a couple of dirty male teenagers who are using pre-packaged flour recipe that is made every three or four days and kept in a freezer. Also, Tyson does not make our chicken, despite what the commercial wants you to think.

Now, there is also a commercial going on and on about our new 99 cent and up menu. They go on and on about a huge list of items that you can get for only 99 cents and up. Below is an image that contains the items on our value menu. Those in color are the ones that actually are 99 cents. Those in black and white are 1.49 or 1.99. But hey! It only 99 cents!... and up

I don't get it. Why can't they just advetise it as 0.99, 1.49, and 1.99? Taco bell advertises their value menu as being at three prices. Why can't we? I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to pissed off customers that we don't really have a 99 cent menu. I can't wait til next spring when I graduate and get away from this corrupt company. At least I used to have a good manager until she was forced to quit and was replaced by a "good christian man." Psssh. Whatever!

As I've Said Before...

When I'm not writing here... I'm writing somewhere else. Hehe.

Oh but here's a little something to make this post worth while. My quote of the day!

"Is there anything wrong, my little roman noddle?"
~ Yasir Hamoudi

Dancey Dance!

So I got my grade for winter quarter today! I only took one class last quarter (cos I hate winter quarter) and it was Legal Research and Writing. It was a very tough class. We had to research in Federal Reports, United States Codes, Law Reviews, and more. On top of that we had to learn how to do citation which can be fun but it hell on earth at the same time. It's so absolutely technical and must be perfect.

What was I saying... Oh yeah! I got my grade and it was an A-! For this tough class, I would have taken an C- and been happy. Next quarter... ::gulp:: Legal Research & Writing II and Fundamental Accounting I. Eek!

She Will Love You Long Time!

No, I'm not cracking some racial joke. Well... maybe a little (She actually does say that she "will love you long time" in one of her songs). But seriously, I downloaded Utada Hikaru's second English CD called This Is The One and it's actually really amazing. Her first CD Exodus was an unexpected gem in my CD collection and I'm more than satisfied with her sophomore English effort. At first I was a little afraid because I wasn't thrilled with her first single called "Come Back To Me." The most I listened to it the more it grew on me though. See video below.



Aww. Wouldn't they make an adorable blasian baby... Anywho! I decided to give the CD a chance anyhow and from the very first song I was into it. It feels very modern Japanese and very Western at the same time. It's very pop and hip hoppy and dancey. If she wasn't so damn talented you might call this a guilty pleasure but I feel no guilt listening to this.

If you haven't heard any of Utada, you will find the best stuff below. Below is her first single from her first English CD, Exodus. It's called "Easy Breezy" and yes she is saying "You're easy breezy and I'm Japanesey."



Now below this is Utada performing my favorite song from Exodus called "Kremlin Dusk". Now, it starts out slow but it really speeds up and it just breathtaking. She's absolutley amazing live.



This next video is her second single for Exodus called "You Make Me Want To Be A Man."



Now if your wondering what she sounds like in Japanese... AMAZING!



So if your interested in her new CD. Below you can preview a couple of tracks thanks to some videos I found on YouTube. The songs are as follows, "Apple & Cinnamon", "Dirty Desire", "On and On", and "Crying Like A Child."



Ugh! She's just so damn cute and Asian! Oh yeah, and Gwen Stefani's Harijuku girls can just go eat their hearts out. They ain't got shit on Hikki!

What I've Learned From Twitter (It Does Suck!)

So I've given Twitter a nice good chance and it really does suck. It's a neat idea but it doesn't work that well in my opinion. It's just like publicly texting people you don't know. It might be better if you were following a lot of people you actually knew in person... but I just don't really care about what people I don't know are doing on a minute by minute basis.

I added Tom Felton and Matt Lewis who play Draco Malfoy and Neville Longbottem (respectively) in the Harry Potter movie series. What I've found out about them through Twitter makes me wish I never joined. Lol. And yes, they really are who they say they are, these are official pages publicly advertised by their managements.

Apparently Tom Felton and his girlfriend are obsessed with dogs and wants another. He asked his "followers" on Twitter to send him pictures of dogs for sale and he'd pick the cuttest. Now, this is very different than what Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling did a couple years ago. She went to the local dog shelter and adopted a dog for nearly £1000 (the normal requested donation to the shelter for taking a dog was only £30). So she donated nearly two thousand dollars to a shelter for homeless dogs. Take a lesson Tom.

Now Matt Lewis is just sad. He calls himself on his profile a "northern layabout" who watches too much TV and sometimes acts. He's not kidding. Below are just a few of his recent posts.

"Diamonds Are Forever is no longer on. Now watching Four Brothers with Mark Wahlberg."

"Somebody asked me about my fav Crane brother but I can't find the question, sorryyy! I'd rather be Frasier but Niles cracks me up, too funny"

"24 is finished. Waiting for Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd to start in HD, oooh... "

"Right 24 time, COME ON JACK!"

"Ok, I'm sat watching Frasier, thought I'd see what you're all up to before 24 - 15 minutes to gooo!!"

"I'm watching King of Queens, something easy to pass the time until 24 tonight!!"

"Just watching Leatherheads with George Clooney, getting mentally prepared for Manchester and Newcastle tonight and tomorrow respectively."

Now, dont' get me wrong. I'm not trying to be judgeful or anything (well, I guess I am a little). But I must say that I'd suprised that rich Matt Lewis does nothing (and I mean nothing) but watch TV and movies. That's cool and all, but I just don't care. I just don't care and that's why twitter sucks.

Bottom Line: Twitter asks, "What are you doing." I interrupt, "I don't wanna know."

Twitter Really Sucks (Update: Not So Bad...)

So lots of people lately have been getting into Twitter. I thought, sure lets see what it's like and I'll give it a try. It seems pretty cool.

Well, so far, I've decided Twitter sucks and it's because I can't do anything on the site. I tried to upload a picture. It fails. I tried to connect to my mobile. It fails. I tried to upload a background. It failed.

Failed failed failed failed. Wow, way to get me involved twitter.

The same thing happened to me with facebook. The site sucked. I lost interest.

UPDATE: So I guess I've got a twitter and it's kinda fun. (still kinda frustrating but it's getting easier)

http://twitter.com/MazeMonster (add me if you got one)

I still say fuck FaceBook though!

Spellcheck Will Only Get You So Far...

Recently I made a few (hilarious) typos that I glossed over on accident when proofreading. See below.

- - - - - - -

I wrote: Oh and this fucking hung mammoth!

I meant: Oh and this fucking huge mammoth!

- - - - - - -

I wrote: And there is this horrible skit where kids cream out "funny" or "not funny" depending on whether or not some scene shown should be laughed at or not.

I meant: And there is this horrible skit where kids scream out "funny" or "not funny" depending on whether or not some scene shown should be laughed at or not.

---------------------------------

So yes, there were no hung mammoths or creaming children.

Wow... Even I'm Shocked

Okay, Wonder Showzen is terrible... Like terrible in a good way. Basically it's formatted like a kid's show but it's very VERY adult. Lol. Here are a few quotes below. Oh! And there is this horrible skit where kids cream out "funny" or "not funny" depending on whether or not some scene shown should be laughed at or not. It's just hard to describe really. You'll just have to see it here (embedding was disabled) .

"Cows are reincarnated Hindus!"

♫♪Slaves built the pyramids! Slaves built America!♫♪

"He practices (milking cows). I caught him practicing in the bathroom."

"Hey look everybody! Muslim kryponite! (pigs) Oh snap! As'salam Alaikum piggies!"

"I just wanna punch god in the face!"

"I want my innocence back."

You also see a clip called "Aunt Flo" here which also had disabled embedding (grrr!). The only clip that would allow me to embed was the one below but it's cute. I am totally downloading this entire series via PirateBay as we speak. Lol.

"Dino-Tacular!" or "Evo-Mazing!"

Today Mandar and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History and it was amazing. Everything was just so beautiful. When you walk in standing right in the middle after the front desk is a young Tyrannosaurus Rex (well, it's bones that is). First we saw a presentation at the planetarium which was beautiful. It really felt like the night sky was right above us. Then we looked around at the animal taxidermy. Next we went outside to see the live animals they had (foxes, bobcats, raccoons, deer). We also got to see a Native American canoe that was found in the river which we live next to!

My favorite part of all was after we came back inside and went to the prehistoric area. They had a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Triceratops and a Brontosaurus. Oh and this fucking huge mammoth! After that we looked around at the great apes exhibit which had a huge display on human evolution. There was an area about the big bang, technonics, geology... UGH! It was just so great. Even the museum store rocked! I got a T-Rex Keychain and a bumper sticker that reads "Evolution Happens." We also got a mug and Mandar got an arrow head and shark tooth.

It was so fantastic that we decided to get a membership there! It's totally affordable and will pay for itself. We'll get info on lectures, symposiums, planetarium programs, and even get to attend exhibit launch parties! Membership is so cheap that it will pay for itself by the end of the year.

Remember that clear thinking oasis I longed for? I found it!

*Below are a shit ton of pictures I took on my phone. What made me laugh was that in the space exhibit under the information regarding earth it read "Evidence of possible intelligent life." Lol. Yeah right.