05 November 2008

Election 2008 Live Blogging!!!


6:00pm - First polls closing. Live blogging has begun.

6:12pm - Testing blogger.

6:17pm - CNN has some new magic thingy that makes us see a 3D version of the White House with lots of other shit flying around it.

6:19pm - First numbers in! So far McCain is slightly ahead in Kentucky. Big shock there.

6:27pm - Obama so far leading in Indiana.

6:36pm - Things are starting to level out in Indiana with nearly 20,000 reporting. Eek!

6:38pm - What the fuck? Why is Fox News advertising on CNN?

6:42pm - God! CNN workers are so fucking proud of themselves…

6:47pm - Anderson Cooper is such a homo...

6:55pm - Wow, the pundits are getting bitchy.

6:56pm - I'm surprised to see Kentucky evening out a bit.

7:00pm - Lots of other polls closing. South Carolina, Virginia, Vermont, etc.

7:00pm - Well 0% in and CNN projecting Obama wins Vermont.
Correct with my assessment.


7:00pm - And 10% in and CNN projecting McCain wins Kentucky.
Correct with my assessment.


7:03pm - CNN has so many magical boards.

7:05pm - Virginia picks up a Democratic Senator.

7:08pm - McCain slightly ahead in Indiana. Eeeeek!

7:12pm - Ahh! Now Obama is leading by one point in Indiana.

7:14pm - 1% in on Virginia and McCain is leading. Eeeek!

7:15pm - What the fuck. Why is CNN showing off so much? Talk about tooting your own horn!

7:16pm - I've decided that CNN is the devil. They've got some magical way to beam people in like Star Wars people.

7:17pm - Ahhh, McCain is back in the lead in Indiana.

7:18pm - I love how Obama has won Vermont yet 0% of votes are in.

7:25pm - This is so stressful. McCain seems to be in the lead everywhere! Ahh!

7:26pm - John King has just explained that Rural counties are the ones that are coming in first and they are often conservative. Hope is restored.

7:30pm - North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia are now closing their polls.

7:31pm - Obama big lead in Florida at 1% reporting.

7:34pm - Wow, I just went to the Fox News website and they have a much better map to play with that shows counties.

7:39pm - If Wolf Blitzer tells me one more time he's doing the math for me I'm gonna plotz!

7:40pm - Obama currently at 1% is winning the popular vote.

7:42pm - How the fuck did Bob Barr get 10,000 people to vote for him?

7:45pm - Nobody can hear that dizzy cow, CNN!

7:56pm - CNN projecting that McCain will carry South Carolina.
Correct with my assessment.

7:58pm - A shit load of new states will be closing in a couple minutes.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Massachusetts goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Illinois goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Conneticut goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that New Jersey goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Maine goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment because Maine is not a winner take all state. I predicted 1 vote for McCain and 3 for Obama and it looks like that is how it will go.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Delaware goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Maryland goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that District of Columbia goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Oklahoma goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

8:00pm - CNN projecting that Tennessee goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

8:03pm - Pandora states that she loves my live blogging.

8:04pm - Obama seems to be keeping his advantage in Florida.

8:08pm - I kinda want some pretzels now that John King has told me to break them out. Maybe I'll have some popcorn...

8:19pm - Pandora shocked to find out that Anderson Cooper is gay and is dating Jonathan Chase.

8:23pm - Grrr! The Fox New Map keeps fucking up!

8:29pm - Had to pee, poop, get popcorn, and a soda pop.

8:31pm - CNN projects that New Hampsire goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:36pm - Florida in at 36% and Obama still doing well!

8:39pm - CNN projects that Pennsylvania goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

8:47pm - Fuck Fox News and their shitty map!

8:54pm - Haha dumb cunt Dole lost! Woo!

8:58pm - CNN projects that McCain wins Alabama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Rhode Island goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Michigan goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Wisconsin goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Minnesota goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that New York goes to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that North Dakota goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:00pm - CNN projects that Wyoming goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:06pm - Amen to this old guy. Fuck the Bradley affect. The country (in general) has grown up.

9:12pm - CNN projects that Georgia goes to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:23pm - CNN projects that West Virginia will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:25pm - Who the fuck is this douche singing? Get him off here! Born to boogie my ass!

9:34pm - CNN projects that Ohio will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:35pm - The election is over. All hail,
President Barack Obama!


9:39pm - Oh my God. According to CNN, the McCain rally in Phoenix has turned off the news and is listening to country music instead. What's wrong? Bad night to be a republican huh?

9:41pm - Damn, looks like there won't be a casino in Ohio.

9:48pm - Mmmm, twice backed potatoes.

9:49pm - CNN projects that New Mexico will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

9:49pm - CNN projects that Louisiana will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

9:58pm - Mandar's dad told us to call "Victory Headquarters" in Ashland where this car dealership is having a McCain Victory Party.

9:59pm - Mandar's mom says that she is going to ring her victory bell so that the very republican douchebag neighbors hear about the Obama victory.

10:00pm - CNN projects that Kansas will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:00pm - CNN projects that Iowa will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

10:02pm - I guess the Mac ain't coming back!

10:05pm - Fucking cocky ass Anderson Cooper. "He's probably watching CNN." What the fuck!

10:11pm - CNN projects that Arkansas will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:22pm - CNN projects that Texas will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:24pm - CNN projects that Mississippi will go to McCain.
Correct with my assessment.

10:37pm - CNN is pulling out their magic bullshit all over again. I think John King is the devil or a product thereof.

10:47pm - Ahhh! CNN is using their Star Wars voodoo magic with Will.I.Am.

10:54pm - Five bucks says that McCain runs out and screams, "Fuck you all! I was the Maverick!" and then runs over and bites Sarah Palin's shoulder.

10:59pm - CNN projects that Obama will take Virginia.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States of America.






11:00pm - CNN projects that Oregon will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that California will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that Hawaii will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:00pm - CNN projects that Washington will go to Obama.
Correct with my assessment.

11:19pm - McCain/Palin concedes.

11:20pm - Fuck those douchebags booing when McCain mentions Obama's name. He's your goddamn president now bitches!!!

11:21pm - CNN projects that Colorado will go to Obama.
Incorrect with my assessment.

11:29pm - Hahahaha. Sarah Palin is crying! Wahahahaha!

11:58pm - Obama makes his acceptance speech.

11:59pm - What is up with Michelle's dress!? She looks pregnant!

12:16am - Woo!

12:17am - Ah-ha! There is that fat black lady who said she might not vote for Obama because Hillary lost!!! Looks like she did!

12:19am - Apparently Joe Biden is married to Jill Biden, not Tipper Gore. That's news to me!

12:20am - I asked Mandar what Cindy McCain is doing and he said "beating John McCain up" and I thought he was gonna say "beating John McCain off."

1:15am - Ughh. It's time to go to bed.

6 comments:

Asylum Seeker said...

7:40 to 8:00 was a scary time in American history. Hopefully, no more are to come.

Asylum Seeker said...

[Insert girlish shrieking]
Viiiiiiiictorrrr-ee!

Asylum Seeker said...

Yeah...I thought she looked pregnant too! Also, something crossed my mind seeing their family on stage together: I am mistaken, or has every White House family since George Bush senior consisted only of daughters?

The Maze Monster said...

The last "son" in the White House was Al Gore's son. All other Presidents or Vice Presidents have had only daughters. However, Joe Biden has sons too.

Pandora said...

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mandar Malum said...

Are you sure, i thought he was married to Tipper Gore also... hahah