Sadness...

I loved her on Maude and on The Golden Girls and even on an episode of Futurama. We'll miss you Bea Arthur, 1922 ~ 2009.

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Bunnies On The Highway

I just finished reading Carl Sagan's 1985 novel, Contact. I saw the movie when I was a teenager and loved it but the book was quite a bit better in some places and not as great in other. It was slow in places. Nevertheless, I still think that Jodie Foster played Ellie Arroway perfectly, maybe even better than Carl Sagan wrote her, lol.

The book was strange in a way because it was published in 1985 and it ends in the year 2000. For example, the Soviet Union still exits in the book. I'm not in anyway saying that was a failure in any sense (he couldn't have known) but it was strange and kinda funny at times. Not to mention, the President of America in the book was a Madam President which by 2008 we still have not seen. I bet if Sagan was alive today he'd be surprised that we had a black president before a female.

Overall, the ending was considerably better. More detail made it deeper. There was also a very thought provoking thing that had to do with pi at the end.

But while reading there was a very funny part where Ellie was talking to a old man who lived in a retirement home that orbited earth. I would like to share it:

"You see, the religious people -most of them- really think this planet is an experiment. That's what their beliefs come down to. Some god or other is always fixing and poking, messing around with tradesman's wives, giving tablets on mountains, commanding you to mutilate your children, telling people what words they can say and what words they can't say, making people feel guilty about enjoying themselves, and like that. Why can't the gods leave well enough alone? All this intervention speaks of incompetence. If God didn't want Lot's wife to look back, why didn't he make her obedient, so she'd do what her husband told her? Or if he hadn't made Lot such a shithead, maybe she would've listened to him more. If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why didn't he start the universe out in the first place so it would come out the way he wants? Why's he constantly repairing and complaining? No, there's one thing the Bible makes clear: the biblical God is a sloppy manufacturer. He's not good at design, he's not good at execution. He'd be out of business if there was any competition."

I guess I never mentioned why I called this bunnies on the highway. There was a long exposition early in the book about rabbits in New Mexico that see car lights. It was interesting.

"You Can Ride To The Top, But You Can't Ride On My Cock"

A band I love called Cobra Starship is about to come out with a new CD late this summer (rumored to be coming out August 1st!). I'm not sure if it's their first single or not, but they added a new track from their upcoming CD on their MySpace which you can listen to below. It's called "Pete Wentz Is The Only Reason We're Famous" but worry not, it has nothing to do with Pete Wentz or Fall Out Boy.

I saw Cobra in concert last fall and I hope they go on tour again. They're on tour now but they're only opening for Fall Out Boy (huet!). Last fall lead singer Gabe Saporta had an issue with his throat and couldn't sing that well. I'm willing to bet they are a lot better when their lead singer has a voice, lol. Oh and yes, I love the new song. I've listened to it about a million times already.

I Hope I Beat Asylum Seeker...

By posting this video before he does... that is if he's seen it lol. It's pretty cute. It's nice to know that so many people are so adamantly against that stupid ass gay storm video from NOM.

Happy Four-Twenty!

Smoke 'em if you've gott'em! Lol. But seriously. I love this picture of Brian and his bong from last night's episode of Family Guy (which can be seen in full and legally on Hulu.com).

Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Fucking Whiney Ass Bitches

I'm friends with this douchebag on Facebook who I don't even know, really. He comes into my work a lot and buys snackers. He had a class once with me. He's a big Christian but boy does he love pussy. He loves to talk about pussy. He loves to eat pussy. He loves to talk about eating pussy. Besides Jesus and pussy, the only other thing he talks about is sports. Bleh. Three things I hate.

So he posted this thing below.


And so here's my question. What the fuck is a 30 hour fast going to prove? What is the fucking point? Especially since he's probably going to eat the entire fridge when it's over.

It might be to show him how people in other starving countries have to live. Except they don't eat like a pig before it starts and then get to go out to Denny's and pig out again after just 30 hours. This is one of those things in American religion that is just so fucking stupid. Things like this make this kid feel holier than thou and I'm willing to bet that he won't be 100% pure in his fasting.

What I hate more about this kid is how much he complains because his parents can only afford to send him to OSU and not a good school. He complains and says things like, "Uh, my parents are patheitic. They wasted all their money and now they can't even send me to a worthy school and so now I'm in class with poor people who are practically homeless."

I don't know how I keep myself from committing a felony with a chicken bone. God damn, just imagine how much good he could do with the energy he put into that thirty hours. He could volunteer at a homeless shelter (we've got on in our town). He could pick up trash outside. He could do so much but instead he just doesn't eat for a little bit. Jesus fucking Christ! I'm so done!

Fun With Captions! Potter-Style

After the release of the new theatrical trailer for Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, I decided to have some fun with captions with it as well.See below.

Epic!

In theatres July 15th!

Fun With Captions! Tarkan-Style

So me, Mandar, and Aurora have been all up in a Tarkan mood lately (he's coming out with a new CD this year!! AHH!). So while panning the internet for good photos, I got some great ones. Of them, several were in dire need of a good caption. See below.

Notes On Life: Crocs, Puffs, & Time

So while Mandar got his hair cut today I stayed in the car and cleaned up the files on my mobile. Next to the hair cut place was American Payroll Advance and next to that was a cigarette store called Puffs. The first thing I noticed while Mandar got his hair cut was a man wearing gray sweat pants and orange crocs (if you don't know what they are, you're lucky). He was entering Puffs. Anyways... I hate these shoes. They're so lazy and ugly and they should never be worn in public. They should be wore to the swimming pool or out into the garden.

As if one person wearing them wasn't enough, another person showed up and entered Puffs. She too was wearing crocs (purple ones) and sweat pants (dark blue ones). Both people were rather large and were buying a considerable amount of cigarettes.

After they both left, I looked to the signage of American Payroll Advance. To my suprise, they are open six days a week. Each day they open at 9:15am. Really!? 9:15am??? What a fucking strange ass time to open. Why not 9am? Why not 10am? What exactly is pushing them back fifteen minutes?

So that's all. That's all that's on my mind. I've been doing a lot of writing in other places so I haven't had much time to write here. 9:15 my ass. Psssh!

ADDITION: Sure they're fugly... But if you want one more reason why crocs suck... click here.

I Must Be One Of Those Fags

There is a band out there I hate. I mean, I hate. I have never hated a band more in my life than this band. I first heard of them because Pandora's boyfriend just loves them because he and his high school buddies drink to their songs. I thought that perhaps this horribly shitty band was no more known to the world than to teenage boys who got together every weekend to smoke weed, drink booze, and fuck nasty hoes. I was wrong.

At work last night, one of the managers had her iPod connected and was playing on shuffle. A song came on and I thought it sounded familiar... it was Hollywood Undead. I cannot even express how much I hate this band. I walked right up to the stereo playing the iPod and ripped the cord out. I wasn't going to listen to that shit. My manager got pissed off and said that she, "loves this band! They're so amazing!" She plugged it back in and started all over again. I dropped what I doing and walked as far away as possible into the dinning room and sat down, waiting until the song was over.

So let me tell you a little bit about Hollywood Undead. They are a group of six douchebags (Charlie Scene, Johnny 3 Tears, J-Dog, Da Kurlzz, Duece AKA The Producer, and Funny Man). They started out as an unsigned band on MySpace and got so popular that they got a real record deal. They wear hockey masks so that you can see what they really look like (although you can see them here without their masks thanks to some girls MySpace). So they have fake names and wear masks so that people don't know who they are. And I can understand why. Below are some chosen lyrics from four songs off their debut album Swan Songs.

Hollywood Undead - "Christmas In Hollywood"
So meet me under the mistletoe lets fuck
so meet me by the manura lets get drunk

Little Timmy stole from 7-11
So we stopped by his house with a pair of sevens
We drank in his room with some dude named Kevin

He didn't leave cookies but we needed a snack
So we took the beer back and I FUCKED HIM IN THE ASS!!!

underneath his suit was just a bunch of pillows.
instead of bags of presents, he had bags of dildo's.

Hollywood Undead - "Undead"
Motherfuckers who don't know what,
You better watch what you say.
From these industry fucks,
To these faggot ass punks,
You don't know what it takes,
To get this motherfucking truck.

Johny's taking hands up, with all the faggots who hate,
Cause I am good motherfucker and there's a price to pay,
Yeah, I am a good motherfucker and its judgment day!

I'm getting used to this nuisance,
And all the fags who bad mouth this music,

You need to slit your wrist, get pissed and go jump off a bridge,

Because its nothing in my mouth except my dick and what I spit,
So my dick is in my hand when I respond to faggots talking shit,
Speaking of fags, already wrap with the drag,
We killed him and then we stuffed his body in the Cadillac.

Hollywood Undead - "Pimpin"
Where I ride with jdog
And it's like, okay, basically
We get shitfaced and crazy
We're screaming "FUCK THE POLICE!"

We're six Caucasians, hell raisin'
Blazin', making zero pay
Can't wait to drink to stop the pain

And I got my soldiers in the back so you don't wanna face me
And when your girl look up at me, I'm lookin' right down
And all that yappin', you know you gon' get a smack down

Hollywood Undead - "Everywhere I Go"

Wake up
Grab beer
Grab rear
Shave beard
Put on some scene gear
Gotta get drunk before my mom wakes up
Break-up with my girlfriend so I can bang sluts
I'm undead, unfed
Been sleeping on bunk beds
Since ten
So if I don't booze it, I'm gonna lose it
Everybody get to it, do it, get ruined

So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin’

When I start drinking
My dick does all my thinking
Hoes want to be scene with me
And I like their big thick titties

I wanna see your booty rubbing against my dick
when I start buzzin'
Come on girls I wanna see you drinkin'
I wanna see your brain start shrinkin'
Make a move I saw you winkin'
Drunken pussies what I'm thinkin'

So booze, violence, fags, sluts, more booze, more sluts. All they do is talk about drinking and fucking drunk girls. Wow, sounds like my kinda guys! Oh and we can't forget about them telling us their names. None of what I chose reflected this but they are constantly telling us who they are. So yeah, I must be one of those fags who bad mouth their music.

What is sad is not necessarily that they exist or that they are the way they are. It's the fact that there is a very real audience of people out there who likes them. There are people out there who really like their music. They sing along, get drunk, and think to themselves, "Oh how I wish I was just like them. I wish I could drink all day long and fuck drunk girls like they do in the songs. Hollywood Undead is just so cool! It's so cool they sing about breaking up with their girlfriend so they can fuck sluts. It's so cool they have nothing else in life but drinking. It's just so cool"

Anna & Eve!? ::Snort:: Really?

So now that four states have legalized gay marriage (Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Iowa, California still in flux), the religious right is FREAKING OUT! Check out this great video below from them.



This is so vague! "The clouds are dark and the winds are strong... and I am afraid." I don't even get half of the shit they say. "My freedom will be taken away." What!? How? "I am a California doctor who must choose between my faith and my job." HOW!? WHY!? "I am a Massachusetts mom who has to watch helplessly as public schools tell my children that gay marriage is okay." Haha, really? Helpless? "Advocates [for gay marriage] want to change the way I live." Oh jesus fucking christ!

It's no wonder this video has 1/5 stars on YouTube. It's just stupid. First of all, I don't think any 2nd grade teacher is forcing kids into thinking that gay marriage is okay. They might be telling their students that it's LEGAL (in some states). But why hide this information? Like they wouldn't find out. THEY'RE SECOND GRADERS! In a few years they'll be in high school!

Here are few other great videos this organisation made against prop 8 (all dealing with the horribleness of second graders being aware of laws).



On the world's stage, gay marriage is legal in the following countries: Belgium, South Africa, Canada, Spain, Netherlands, Sweden, Norway. Civil partnerships (a stone throw away from marriage but not quite the golden coin) are legal in the following countries: Andorra, Iceland, Czech Republic, Luxembourg, Denmark, New Zealand, Finland, Slovenia, France, Switzerland, Germany, England, Wales, Scotland, Greenland, Uruguay, and in parts of Argentina, Australia, Brasil, and Mexico. And the following countries are currently working toward legalization (in debate): Australia, Israel, China, Nepal, New Zealand, Estonia, Philippines, France, Portugal, Greece, Switzerland, Hungary, England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Taiwan, and Iceland.

This list was tiny 10 years ago and nonexistent 20 years ago. Gay marriage is going to happen and eventually people will look at the opponents of gay marriage in the same way that we look at the opponents of interracial marriage today. As idiotic bigots! Click here to see a map of what states outlawed interracial marriage before 1967. Thanks to the Homosecular Gaytheist for bringing this video to my attention.