Foward: This post was originally written on July 7th, 2009. I have amended it to be more fitting today.
So this blog is supposed to be amount me. It's about my life, my opinions, and so on. Well, over the time I've had this blog I've left something out of it. I've completely avoided it for the near year I've had this blog now and I really can't hide it anymore. I'm done being neutral. I'm done being Switzerland.
There are these two people in my life right now. One of them is a really good friend and the other is her boyfriend. She reads this blog. This post is going to piss her off. It might make her cry. It might end our friendship (I'm sure it's ended already though now). But I can't pretend any longer. I can't dodge issues any longer. As much as it hurts to tell her this point blank... I have to. I hate her boyfriend (this should be no shock to her).
They've been together for over two years. It all started when he started working for the same place as she was (and so was I at the time). From the very start I didn't like him. I wasn't scared to say anything then because they were just friends. She pursued him as a friend at first. I didn't really care much because I never expected it to lead to what it has. He was living with his girlfriend at the time. Eventually they started hanging out together and to nobody's surprise his girlfriend didn't like this. They broke up and within a short period of time my friend was dating him. He certainly didn't have any trouble breaking it off with the old girl when he found a new one. (I have found that he's never been without a girlfriend)
When things started it was innocent enough. I didn't like him but I didn't dislike him. I didn't know him. After a while he ended up moving in with her and her parents. Things were still relatively innocent.
During the first year I only got to know him a little bit. I can remember the time we went to the zoo with him. He really pissed me off because all he did was text on his fucking phone the entire time we were there. I even took them both to BD's Mongolian Grill, my treat, to get to know him better. I realized that I didn't like him but I didn't say anything.
Last year my boyfriend and I had to stay with my parents for two months. They live very close to my friend and her boyfriend so we spent a lot (i mean a LOT) of time there. This is truly when I really got to know this guy.
During this time all he did was text. Text text text text text. He was secretive about it too. And when she told him that it made her unhappy all he did was turn it around to make her feel bad (i've never seen her cry more often than during those two months). I would have to deal with her sobbing in tears because of the shitty way he treated her at least once a week. Eventually I broke down and told her that there are other fish in the sea. This REALLY pissed her off. She told me she didn't want a close friend of hers to hate her boyfriend. She wanted me to give him a second chance. So I did.
Eventually my boyfriend and I moved back home and I tried to give him his second chance. I was willing to give him a second chance.
The new year came around and she suddenly took an interest in religion (specifically reading the Bible). She is not religious. He is very religious. She's an atheist but she won't admit it. She told him that she knew very little of the Bible and was curious to know more. He, of course, rushed to slam the KJV of the Bible into her hands. They went down to Oklahoma to visit his family who were "so nice" to her (she says). She couldn't believe how nice they were. They took her to church like 5 times that week and even gave her a free bible. They were "so nice." Well, no shit. They were nice because they were trying to convert you to Christianity.
What I love about him is the fact that he doesn't even know about his own religion. Once he told me, "Jesus was not a Jew, he was a Hebrew." Once he had to ask what Good Friday was... you know, the day we celebrate the death of Jesus... you know, a MAJOR Christian holiday. Typical Christian douchebag. But she never saw him that way. She would always say, "Oh that's not him. That's not what he's like." Typical apologist girlfriend who doesn't want to see him for who he is.
He doesn't just treat my friend like shit. He once kicked her dog right in front of her for getting into a two dollar box of chocolates. But that's not him, remember. He's not like that.
But even through all of this, I'm still willing to try and see the good side of him for her. I'm really trying.
I decided one day that I would take her and her boyfriend up to the Natural History Museum. I thought to myself that this was it. This was his second chance to win me over. He failed royally. (Interesting note: My boyfriend and I had four free passes to the museum that we specifically used on his cousin and her boyfriend as well as my parents. We never told them that we had the free passes because they'd bitch that we didn't give the passes to them.)
She has no idea how much he pissed me off and how fucking immature he was at that museum. This boy is supposedly a big fan of science ... but he doesn't accept evolution (which is, of course, the basis of all biology). He described his view of evolution to me as "one little horse giving birth to a retarded big horse baby." When in the human evolution section of the museum he said to my boyfriend, "I'm not no monkey's uncle... I don't know why they try and say that..."
So here was when I was done. They had been together for two years and I had given him chance after chance to redeem himself. I did it for her. I did it because I wanted to make her happy. I can't do that anymore.
I didn't tell her how much that trip pissed me off. I couldn't ever tell her how much I disliked him because she has such a soft skin. She explodes pretty quickly. She can easily dish it out. She can't take it in. But it's not her I dislike. I love her to death (or I did).
So after this little fiasco I cut myself off from her. Ever since then I haven't gone over to her house to hang out because I know that he's there.
Eventually I learned that I wasn't the only one who doesn't like him. Apparently she's the only one who does likes him. (We're talking nearly all of her friends and family)
So over the time after the trip to the museum the subject of cheating has come up quite a lot. Apparently he would come to her and say something to the effect of "if you hear anything about me cheating on you it's not true... okay." Sounds to me like damage control. But this is just speculation. I'm not the only one who thinks he's cheated on her. Friends of hers who I haven't even met think so. And this didn't just happen once, it's happened time and time again. She just blames the "skanks" for spreading "lies." Could he have cheated on her? Easily! He constantly spends the night drinking with "friends" without her and doesn't come home til morning.
If I had to put money on it, I'd put money on him sticking his nastiness in any girl who'd allow it.
She used to talk to me about this kinda stuff but she doesn't anymore. Maybe because I tend to agree with her mother which she hates. Maybe because I'm not telling her what she wants to hear.
Speaking of her mother. Her mother is a saint. Her parents are nicer than I would ever be. One day her mother walked in front of her boyfriend playing a video game and he called her a "cunt." He never apologized. He says he didn't do anything wrong. If I were her, I would have kicked him the fuck out of my house. Her mother didn't. She's too fucking nice. Way too nice.
She says "he just doesn't appologize... that's just him..."
That's just douche.
If I haven't already mentioned, this kid's also a racist. He voted for McCain and said he couldn't tell us why he didn't like Obama because it would "make us mad." After Obama won, she went to bed (he had already went to bed, mad that Obama was winning) and he told her, "yeah, I know. That nigger won!" There is this guy who they work with who is half black and half white and he thinks he's mexican (despite people constantly telling him the truth). He refers to him as 'the spick.' He's a racist and she refuses to see it. She just says things like "oh that's not him. He's just joking. He listens to rap music."
But now she's becoming a racist. She thinks it's okay to call one of her shop supervisors a "nigger"... now, she's not a racists (or she says) but that word just applies to him. Yeah...
So I broke my whole avoidance of her boyfriend by going to her birthday party. I couldn't skip this. He was a total douche there too. I met his mother at her party and she was very nice and quite pleasant. His douchiness apparently didn't come from her.
He was so lazy at the party. He made her cut a piece of her own cake for him because he was too lazy to cut it himself.
That's not all. He makes her pack his lunch and makes her microwave his lunch at work... everyday... without fail. If she didn't, he'd starve. If she packs his lunch and she forgets his fork or something he calls her a bitch and storms off. Then he says things like "maybe I'll just move out now!" He's a total drama queen.
Oh yeah, and apparently she has to pick out his clothes...
Well I could go on forever but I have to get up to the present day.
Suddenly he wants to move out now (this was in July/August). She wants to move out too... but he wants to move out with someone else. Apparently he wants to get an apartment with his friend Timmy. He actually asked her "would you be mad if I moved out?" No fucking shit. First he said he wanted to move out because of "religous issues." Then it was "money" issues. Supposedly he thinks he can save more money by having more bills. Now he suddenly wants to move out and live with his mother again. It's so obvious that he's trying to inch his way out of this relationship.
Well that's it. I hate him. I'm done with him.
Am I risking my friendship with her? Yes. Do I care? Yes. (well, not anymore, see below)
I just hope that she understands that it's not her, it's him. I hope she understands that I've given him two years of chances and I just can't like him. I'm posting this here because she'll read it here and the only other people who read this don't know her personally.
I told her a while back that I know they won't last. It pissed her off. I told her to prove me wrong.
I just hope she understands. I afraid she won't. I've kept this in for too long and I can't keep it in any longer.
It looks as though their relationship might be ending soon. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope it does end. I hope he leaves her because she won't leave him. The way she lets him abuse her and treat her like shit I don't think she would EVER leave him. I hope it ends because I hope the best for her. I know she's better than him and I know there is a much better guy out there for her that she'll love a hundred times more.
I love her to death and I hate him and I can't pretend any longer.
~~~ ADDITION ADDED SEPT 30th ~~~~
So we're not really friends anymore. I just got so fucking sick of her stupid ass drama she posted on Facebook that I deleted her. (that's why I'm okay with posting this now)
She ranted for a day about how I don't have balls and blah blah blah. She never messaged me to ask what was wrong.
Her mother asked her if she ever talked to me about me deleting her and she said "NO! I don't even care."
So abusive, racist, douchebag boyfriend is better than her friends.
In life, choices you make determine where you will go in life. I predict that she'll get knocked up, have his kid, become a stupid fucking Christian (because she is dying to have some meaning to her life), and one day after she stops being his second mother he'll leave her and she'll find out he's been fucking around behind her back all along.
::deep sigh of relief::
It's good to get shit off my chest...