Deep and Dark Colors

I realize today that I only wear four colors to work...

Black. Red. Grey. Purple.

Maybe one day I'll throw a green or blue in there some day.

I Must Have A Twin...

Mandar and I went into town yesterday (to get Starfy and a milkshake) and I was asked the strangest thing while in the drive-thru at the ... um, drive-thru.

"No cheesy today!?"

I was like... "Um... excuse me?"

Apparently she swore that I came through all the time and got cheese covered fries. I hadn't been to that drive-thru for months. And I've never purchased cheese covered fries.

But this wasn't the first time. About a year ago at the Wal-Mart down the street I was abruptly stopped by some tall black guy who said to me, "Hey! Mark! Long-time no see!"

I was like, "Um... I'm not Mark."

He laughed, "Oh man, you're such a kidder. You and Sabrina still together?"

WHAT THE FUCK!

So I'm convinced I have a twin in town.

...

And what's the point of the titties above? Well, on Penn & Teller's they have tits in every single episode and it works for them... Plus when I typed in 'twins' in google this image came up.

Child For Sale! (Short Rant)

This'll be short. Two months ago before summer quarter began I purchased my textbook for my Child Psychology class. It's my final GEC (general educational class). The textbook was $100.

First day of class I asked my professor, Dr. Kreisher, very sternly, "Are we going to actually use the textbook."

She replied, "Oh yes, absolutely."

So I pulled off the plastic wrap (which meant said textbook could not be returned for full price) and opened to chapter 1.

After two weeks of class, I hadn't used the book even once. Her class was completely lecture based. So I left the book at home as it was weighing down my bookbag. I assumed at some point I would need it.

After the full 8-week class period, I never used the book even ONCE!!!

So I go to the campus bookstore to try to sell it back, hoping for ten of fifteen bucks at the least. Nope. Nothing. They have a new addition.

So I'm fucking stuck with a book that I will never ever ever use.

Grrr.

Adorable Animals I Never Knew Existed

For the Fourth of July Mandar and I found out that the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo was having a special. $2 off admission if you wear red, white, or blue, as well as free admission to the Rainforest and the Dinosaur Exhibit. Hot damn we said!

We had a really fun time. The weather was perfect. It was the first time I'd ever been to that zoo and I really enjoyed it. I feel like I was way closer to the animals than I ever get at the Columbus Zoo.

So anywho, we found...

Oh wait...

OMG!

There was this HILARIOUSLY fun Asian lady who was tempting this monkey with a tasty sammich. You see, there is this thing called Monkey Island. There is no cage or anything. It's just an island with a little river going around the entire island.

So there she was, shoving a huge sammich in her fat gob. Every once in a while she'd take a moment to stop eating and wave the sammich around in front of the monkeys! They got so pissed and she just kept doing it. It was great.

I wish the picture I snapped of her was of her waving the sammich but apparently it was so good she couldn't stop shoving it into her face. We saw her eat two sammichs total.

So anywho...

There were three adorable little animal I had never heard of that I just loved. The pictures below are not from the zoo, they're from online.

Chevrotain

Rufous Elephant Shrew

Rock Hyrax

The Rock Hyraxes had lots of little babies who have back legs that look like little human legs. They're such little chub balls and believe it or not they are more closely related to elephants than rodents.

The Chevrotains have such tiny legs that they ran around like they were wearing high heels. The Elephant Shrews looked like tiny little ant-eaters.

I bet they would have loved to take a bite of the fun asian lady's sammich.

Free Car Repair And A Fish Taco

So Friday Mandar was off work in observation of Independence Day. We left early because we had to go back to get our car repaired again. The service center hasn't been doing a bad job or anything, it's just my car keeps having something wrong with it.

It all started in May. I took my car's back tires to the limit. As far as I could possibly go without blowing a tire. So I needed to get two new back tires... immediately. $180 there. *insert cash register sound*

For a few weeks I'd been hearing some rattling when I breaked on a hill. I took it to the place where I purchased my car for repair (I figure they'll do a half-decent job at the least since they will want me to purchase there again). Turns out I needed a front end alignment as well as a bunch of shit replaced in the front. With parts and labor, $530. *insert cash register sound*

So a few weeks went by and then I was hearing another noise. It was only when I came to a full break. It was not really a new noise, it was a noise I had heard over top the old noise. I take it back to get checked out again and it was only $118. *insert cash register sound*

So a few more weeks go by and yet again, something else is wrong. Now we're up to the present. We arrived at noon and waited for forty minutes in the waiting room. Finally the guy comes out and tells us that the steering column needs replacing. This didn't really surprise me cos when I breaked the steering wheel felt like it was gonna pop out at times. He tells me that with parts and labor it would be approximately $825. *don't insert cash register sound*

I shit my pants. But to my surprise he tells me, "I talked to my manager and he tells me that he knows that you've been in and out of here a lot, dealing with a lot of rattling noises. So he told me to go ahead and replace it and do everything for no charge."

I shit my pants again. Doing shit like that makes me want to buy a car from them again. Considering what a shit hole GM is in right now and how horrible the economy is, doing an eight hundred dollar repair for free is amazing. This is the mark of a good repair place.

My parents and Aurora have also used this dealership for repairs and have never had a single complaint. In fact Aurora herself has received free repairs in the past as well.

Not everyone loves them though. Supposedly Pandora got a repair there and she says they used tape to fix her car and they had to pay twice for the same repair. She freaks out when she hears that we get our car repaired there. Oh well. Can't please everyone.

Now, Pandora's boyfriend tells us to go to Bill Harris's dealership and have our car repaired there.

Well, there's four big problems with Bill Harris. First, they have have a bullet-hole in the class in the front of their dealership. Second, we almost bought a car there after four days of attempting to make a deal. In those four days we looked at nearly ten cars ranging from two hundred dollars a month to four-hundred and fifty dollars a month. After too much jerking around we just left. Third, on November 4th 2008 Bill Harris's dealership threw the biggest party in our town for John McCain, calling their dealership Republican Victory Headquarters. Talk about a way to totally alienate a huge portion of your prospective clients. Fourth, Bill Harris is not just a dealership owner, he's a politican.

I've never had a problem with the dealership I bought my car from. When I bought it, I showed up in the morning, picked the car I wanted, waited for approval, signed paperwork, and drove off with my brand new car that very day without a single problem.

So anyways, now onto the Fish Taco. After we left the dealership with my car (which breaks fantastically now), we went into town to get food to go over to Aurora's house. We got a buncha of regular tacos from Taco Bell and then went through Long John Silver's to get two Fish Tacos.

The Fish Taco is simply amazing. I love it! I love it! Aurora loves it too.

That's all.

Fish Taco = Crazy Delicious.

Facebook Debate Pt. 2

47 Million Years And Waiting

It's clear that no matter how much proof there is, they'll never accept it. Especially when they believe the proof is just made-up by those evil and deceptive scientists!!! Religious people once said "there aren't any transitional fossils!" And now that there are hundreds they say, "Fossils don't prove anything!" Way to move the goal posts!

Hehe. I wonder how many people goggle pissed off with the image above. Darwin's birthday logo was subtle. This is just slap in the face to creationists and I love it!

The Voice Of The People

So I went looking for a nice polo shirt today and I had to poop. So I went into the bathroom and found some of the best graffiti I have ever seen. Enjoy it below. Oh and try spot the spelling error.

Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Fucking Whiney Ass Bitches

I'm friends with this douchebag on Facebook who I don't even know, really. He comes into my work a lot and buys snackers. He had a class once with me. He's a big Christian but boy does he love pussy. He loves to talk about pussy. He loves to eat pussy. He loves to talk about eating pussy. Besides Jesus and pussy, the only other thing he talks about is sports. Bleh. Three things I hate.

So he posted this thing below.


And so here's my question. What the fuck is a 30 hour fast going to prove? What is the fucking point? Especially since he's probably going to eat the entire fridge when it's over.

It might be to show him how people in other starving countries have to live. Except they don't eat like a pig before it starts and then get to go out to Denny's and pig out again after just 30 hours. This is one of those things in American religion that is just so fucking stupid. Things like this make this kid feel holier than thou and I'm willing to bet that he won't be 100% pure in his fasting.

What I hate more about this kid is how much he complains because his parents can only afford to send him to OSU and not a good school. He complains and says things like, "Uh, my parents are patheitic. They wasted all their money and now they can't even send me to a worthy school and so now I'm in class with poor people who are practically homeless."

I don't know how I keep myself from committing a felony with a chicken bone. God damn, just imagine how much good he could do with the energy he put into that thirty hours. He could volunteer at a homeless shelter (we've got on in our town). He could pick up trash outside. He could do so much but instead he just doesn't eat for a little bit. Jesus fucking Christ! I'm so done!

DIC (Deceptive Immoral Chicken)

So, yeah, I know. I just posted that I've been too busy writing my book to write in this blog but I just had to write about this. I just returned from my stupid KFC work meeting (yeah, they have meetings for crew members) and I must tell you all two extremely stupid things.

The first is the immorality. The other day my boss was taking an order from a little old lady who was both nice and polite. She asked for an 8-piece meal which costs $18 (comes with 8 pieces of chicken, 2 sides, 4 biscuits). Now, we have a special running on TV for a 10-piece meal which costs only $15 (comes with 10 pieces of chicken, 3 sides, 5 biscuits). The 10-piece is cheaper and it comes with more. So I started to stay, "You know, if you rang her up for the 10-piece it would be cheaper for her." He gave me an angry look and said, "Ssshhh shhh!" Later on he told me that giving out specials to people who don't specifically ask for them "hurts his bottom line." That's his new slogan. I replied, "What if that were your grandmother? Would you really charge her more simply because she didn't know we had a special." He gave me a funny look and smiled, "Yeah!"

What a fucking douche.

Now for the dumbest shit ever. KFC is getting ready to unveil this new "Kentucky Grilled Chicken" which we will be getting on April 14th. Now, this "grilled" chicken is not actually grilled... it's baked. And to top it off, if somebody asks us, "How do you guys grill your chicken?" We are supposed to reply, "It's KFC's secret." We are not allowed to tell them the truth.

Yeah, right.

I don't get it. I'm just of one of those people who have trouble lying for no good reason. I've often been labeled as a "whistle-blower" at KFC. I'm apparently dangerous! How am I gonna keep my mouth shut about this? It's so fucking stupid! Just call it baked chicken! Our fried chicken really is deep fried. Why can't our grilled chicken really be grilled? I just don't get it. Why should I let my honestly be completely thrown out the window... over CHICKEN!

Oh and while I'm at it, lets address the KFC commercial they keep playing. In it they show some nice clean 28 year old lady who says something like, "Hi, I'm the chef. Every KFC has a chef. Every day I make KFC's secret recipe from scratch." Okay, the truth is this. There is no chef. There are a couple of dirty male teenagers who are using pre-packaged flour recipe that is made every three or four days and kept in a freezer. Also, Tyson does not make our chicken, despite what the commercial wants you to think.

Now, there is also a commercial going on and on about our new 99 cent and up menu. They go on and on about a huge list of items that you can get for only 99 cents and up. Below is an image that contains the items on our value menu. Those in color are the ones that actually are 99 cents. Those in black and white are 1.49 or 1.99. But hey! It only 99 cents!... and up

I don't get it. Why can't they just advetise it as 0.99, 1.49, and 1.99? Taco bell advertises their value menu as being at three prices. Why can't we? I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to pissed off customers that we don't really have a 99 cent menu. I can't wait til next spring when I graduate and get away from this corrupt company. At least I used to have a good manager until she was forced to quit and was replaced by a "good christian man." Psssh. Whatever!

Dancey Dance!

So I got my grade for winter quarter today! I only took one class last quarter (cos I hate winter quarter) and it was Legal Research and Writing. It was a very tough class. We had to research in Federal Reports, United States Codes, Law Reviews, and more. On top of that we had to learn how to do citation which can be fun but it hell on earth at the same time. It's so absolutely technical and must be perfect.

What was I saying... Oh yeah! I got my grade and it was an A-! For this tough class, I would have taken an C- and been happy. Next quarter... ::gulp:: Legal Research & Writing II and Fundamental Accounting I. Eek!

Spellcheck Will Only Get You So Far...

Recently I made a few (hilarious) typos that I glossed over on accident when proofreading. See below.

- - - - - - -

I wrote: Oh and this fucking hung mammoth!

I meant: Oh and this fucking huge mammoth!

- - - - - - -

I wrote: And there is this horrible skit where kids cream out "funny" or "not funny" depending on whether or not some scene shown should be laughed at or not.

I meant: And there is this horrible skit where kids scream out "funny" or "not funny" depending on whether or not some scene shown should be laughed at or not.

---------------------------------

So yes, there were no hung mammoths or creaming children.

"Dino-Tacular!" or "Evo-Mazing!"

Today Mandar and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History and it was amazing. Everything was just so beautiful. When you walk in standing right in the middle after the front desk is a young Tyrannosaurus Rex (well, it's bones that is). First we saw a presentation at the planetarium which was beautiful. It really felt like the night sky was right above us. Then we looked around at the animal taxidermy. Next we went outside to see the live animals they had (foxes, bobcats, raccoons, deer). We also got to see a Native American canoe that was found in the river which we live next to!

My favorite part of all was after we came back inside and went to the prehistoric area. They had a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Triceratops and a Brontosaurus. Oh and this fucking huge mammoth! After that we looked around at the great apes exhibit which had a huge display on human evolution. There was an area about the big bang, technonics, geology... UGH! It was just so great. Even the museum store rocked! I got a T-Rex Keychain and a bumper sticker that reads "Evolution Happens." We also got a mug and Mandar got an arrow head and shark tooth.

It was so fantastic that we decided to get a membership there! It's totally affordable and will pay for itself. We'll get info on lectures, symposiums, planetarium programs, and even get to attend exhibit launch parties! Membership is so cheap that it will pay for itself by the end of the year.

Remember that clear thinking oasis I longed for? I found it!

*Below are a shit ton of pictures I took on my phone. What made me laugh was that in the space exhibit under the information regarding earth it read "Evidence of possible intelligent life." Lol. Yeah right.