Happy Four-Twenty!

Smoke 'em if you've gott'em! Lol. But seriously. I love this picture of Brian and his bong from last night's episode of Family Guy (which can be seen in full and legally on Hulu.com).

The Honeymoon Is Officially Over

Like always, when the guy you voted for gets into the white house, you have a honeymoon period where you glow with glory for having picked the better guy. Eventually you learn that even though he's the lesser of two evils, he's still a politician.

The honeymoon is over.

This last week President Obama shot down quite assholily (new word) the idea of legalizing marijuana to help stimulate the economy. This sorta pissed me off and showed me that the honeymoon really was over. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's president. But like all adults, after a while we have to accept that we never 100% agree with a pick for president on all issues.

But I know his game. He's a politician and he knows that right now he needs to make sure that he's still gonna be president in four years. We all know how the right wing would react if the "nigga president" legalized weed. After all, four little douchebags all sent me the exact same text a few days ego outlining their "Obama Stimulus Package" as being a bag of weed and some chicken. Three of these four people being people who openly enjoy weed and chicken. All four of these people being republican.

I might have to paraphrase here. But Mos Def said something smart recently, "If we live in a country were you can smoke cigarettes, drink bear at eight o'clock in the morning, and watch every type of pornography out there... why not legalize weed and make some fucking money off it."

The police don't want to police it. The people want to smoke it. We need to start making money. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS STILL ILLEGAL!? Why are we wasting so much money locking up people for a victimless crime.

For Obama to mock "huh huh, I don't know what's going on on the internet, huh huh," is offending. I guess the internet is just full of potheads, right? Like Bill Maher said, that was a McCain answer.

By the way, this is the number one thing on people's mind right now. Not because we're all dying to toke up, but because we want to get rid of this stupid ban on marijuana. Because instead of wasting money on police and jails locking pot smokers up. We should be selling marijuana at street value and making a glorious prophet. Unlike Pandora's boyfriend, I have no desire to smoke weed all day long while doing nothing else, whether I'm rich or not. But I don't want my tax dollars going to busting kids and poor people for enjoying the euphoria that marijuana brings. If marijuana was legal today I wouldn't smoke it. Just like cigarettes, I don't need it and I don't wanna spend my money on it. Believe me, I could get a ton of weed in a heartbeat tomorrow if I wanted it. But the fact that I don't smoke doesn't make me want to stop anyone else from smoking.

The definition of stupid is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We've been wasting away billions of dollars and lives on a failed drug war for 30 years and yet we haven't tried a new game plan. I firmly believe that all drugs should be legal. Every single one of them.

In America I'm allowed to buy a firearm and go home and blow my brains out. But I'm not allowed to buy a dime bag and suddenly think that Across The Universe is a good film or become so deluded that Dane Cook is suddenly funny.

Bottom line: The drug war failed. Marijuana is safe. Legalize!

Below is video from Bill Maher's latest episode of Real Time that sparked this blogpost.

Oh Big Fucking Deal!

Okay, I don't smoke weed for two reasons. Firstly, I don't smoke anything. Secondly, it costs too much. But despite my lack of smoking, I have a lot of friends that do, and I am a huge advocate for the legalization of marijuana. So I say this whole thing with Michael Phelps smoking a bong is fucking bullshit.

Before I get to that, lets get to some truths. First of all, marijuana is illegal. Alcohol is not. I've had several classes that have explored psychotropic drugs and the legality of them. There is one and only one reason that pot is illegal. Because you can grow it at home. I'll explain more about that later.

So like I said, I'm a huge advocate for the legalization. What horrible things would happen if we legalized pot, you ask? Well to start, the police force would have all this extra time on their hands if they weren't cracking down on stoners. Court rooms would work so much faster because they would have a dramatically lower amount of cases without them prosecuting pot heads.

Next, horrible drug companies would start selling pot. The terrible government would tax it like hell too. Because it would be grown in high amounts and mass produced, it would cost very little to make. Cigarettes have a shit load of ingeredients and cost about $4 a pack. It would cost about $0.23 to product a pack of weed-smokes. For every pack the government would tack on $2 in tax, and the company producing would take $2 in profet, and so a pack of weedarettes would run about $4.23 a pack.

With all that extra money, the weed producing compnay would have huge explosion of available jobs right here in America. With all that extra money, the government could do any of the following.

• Improve schools
• Give out a shit ton more government aid for higher education
• Improve roads
• Give out extra funds for the research of diseases like cancer and AIDS
• Research more eco-friendly ways to do everything
• Give out another stimulus
  

So, wanna stimulate the economy? Legalize weed!

Oh and so you're saying to yourself, "But isn't weed a gateway drug to really bad things?" Actually, there is sufficient evidence to show that for some people it is, but there is a good reason why. It's because of it's illegality that people tend to move to other things. It comes under the idea of "if i'm doing one illegal drug, why not another." So if it were legalized, it would definitely not be a gateway drug.

But the problem with legalization is this one fact. You can grow pot in your house. Companies would be trying to sell a product people can grow at home. That's one of the biggest reasons against legalization and it's a stupid one. I can crow tomatoes in my house by I still prefer to buy them in the can.

Well, may perhaps you're saying to yourself,"oh but weed is a drug and it's terrible." There is one, and only one other drug out there that is safer than marijuana. And that's caffeine. Everything else is worse. Wanna know that is really bad. Alcohol.

Every year millions and million die from alcohol. Every year... nobody dies from weed.

When people drink alcohol, terrible things happen. They get angry and hit their wife. They fuck their friend's girlfriend and ruin their marriage and friendships. They drink too much and die of alcohol poisoning. They get behind the wheel and hit another car, killing themself and the people in the other car. They get too drunk and angry and take out their gun and go out and kill someone. They drink too much and become alcoholics. They get chemically addicted to alcohol, quit cold turkey and die of shock (it can and does happen!).

When people smoke weed, terrible things happen too. They eat the whole pizza. Their pipe gets dirty. They go through taco bell and annoy the employees. They find star jones attractive (see video below).



Here's the bottom line. When you do too much alcohol, you die. When you do too much weed, you consume the fridge. It is absolutely stupid that alcohol is legal in this country and that pot is not. Alcohol kills. Pot makes The Yellow Submarine more enjoyable.

Okay, so I must admit that pot is not perfect. There are some adverse effects to smoking pot. Here is a list from familydoctor.com.

• Trouble remembering things
• Slowed reaction time
• Difficulty concentrating
• Sleepiness
• Anxiety
• Paranoia (feeling that people are "out to get you")
• Altered time perception
• Increased appetite
• Red, bloodshot eyes

Is this really anything close to or as terrible as alcohol or cigarettes? Why is it that the legal stuff is worse than the illegal stuff.

I don't drink either. I hate the taste of alcohol and the horrible feeling in the morning when you've drank too much. So if I have to do one or the other, put that beer away, and pass me the bong.

Oh and this bullshit about Michael Phelps is stupid. He could smoke cigarettes and drink 'til the cows come home and nobody would bat an eye. But the minute his lips hit that bong, he gets a suspension and looses endorsement deals. He put out a statement apologizing for his actions and saying it was immature and that he would never do it again. I understand that his agent probably made him say that but honestly, if that were me, I would have said, "Fuck you guys, I'm an adult and I'll do as I please. I like smoking. I did it once. I'm gonna do it again. Mind your own fucking business."