Maudie's Here!

History really does repeat itself. This excerpt from an episode of All in the Family (featuring Bea Arthur as Maude) really speaks to today. Hopefully history does repeat itself in the form of televison... I'd kill to have a program today that tackled serious issues today like All in the Family did in the 1970s.

Mayonnaise and White Bread

This is one of my favorite moments from the Golden Girls. I really wish I could see the whole comic strip...

I'm So Exicted.... And I Just Can't Hide It...

So there's a lot of stuff coming out in the second part of this year that I'm excited for. Yeah, I know. I'm a pop culture whore. Some of it's guilty pleasure, some not. Either way, I'm pumped! Recently I was very satisfied with the new Taking Back Sunday CD as well as the new Marilyn Manson CD. Mandar and I are also loving the Sims 3 so I hope what still is to come won't disappoint.

True Blood: Season 2 - June 14th



Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince - July 15th



Wii Sports Resort - July 26th



Julie & Julia - August 7th



New Cobra Starship CD - August 11th



I Can Do Bad All By Myself - Sept 11th



New Super Mario Bros. Wii - Holiday Season



In addition I am also looking forward to the new Richard Dawkins book for which I couldn't really find a good YouTube video for. There are also new Tarkan, Shakira, and Atreyu CDs slated for release this year!

I Wanna Do Bad Things To You...

Yep, it was inevitable. I fell in love with some vamps. Anne Rice's books were good but never got me enthralled. My fault, not hers. Stephanie Meyer... ugh, sappy, predictable, boring. Her fault, not mine. Then came along Charlaine Harris.

She's a part-time author, part-time minister. She writes stories about sex, drugs, and lots of blood. Every single one of her books in the Sookie Stackhouse series contains the word "dead."

It all started over at Mandar's cousins house. Aurora had gone on for a while about being enthralled by the Sookie Stackhouse novels. She was psyched to be getting the upcoming ninth in the series. After I finished reading Contact by Carl Sagan I thought, sure why not, I'll give it a try.

I bought the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series called "Dead Until Dark." From page one, I was interested. By page 292, I was hooked. Even better, HBO picked up the book and converted them to a weekly one-hour television program which they dubbed True Blood.

The story takes place in the rural Louisiana town of Bon Temps. The books are told from the prospective of 25 year old Sookie Stackhouse. Just months have the underground vampire community decided to "come out of the coffin" thanks to the creation of a sythetic blood drink called TruBlood Sookie is exited to meet a real live vampire when he walks into Merlotte's Bar (where she works of course). Mr. Bill Compton is a gentleman (and has a handsome 1800's look about him). From there Sookie finds herself getting slightly attracted to her dead new friend. The once quiet town of Bon Temps is shocked when several murders occur just months having the vampire's appeared. Sookie is torn between her new beau and the normal life she once had.

Above is the uber amazing Eric Northman (and his second in command Pam), the 1100 year old vampire who runs the vampire bar called Fangtasia. Oh, did I mention that they refer to the people who have sex with vampires as fang-bangers?

The series True Blood is a lot different from the book. Each season of the show represents one book. However, since the book is less than 300 pages long and the show has twelve one-hour episodes, there's time to fill. What I love is how every single scene from the book is in the show. And what's great is they have room to add more. Much much much more!

This show is not for the faint at heart. There is a lot of fucking. And I mean a lot of fucking! There's drug use. Gore. Violence. Blood. Lots of blood. Let's put it this way. Twilight is like huggies pull-ups and True Blood is like Victoria Secret lace lingerie. Don't watch unless you can handle big girl panties!

One of the things I love about the show is it's location. Deep south Lousianna. Just check out the show's opening credits. I love the song they choose and the imagery is perfect.



So it's my new addiciton. Good thing for me, I just finished reading book one and I've got eight more to go (and there currenlty is no end in visible sight for the series). I sure hope HBO keeps this series going for a nice long time!

Sadness...

I loved her on Maude and on The Golden Girls and even on an episode of Futurama. We'll miss you Bea Arthur, 1922 ~ 2009.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Happy Four-Twenty!

Smoke 'em if you've gott'em! Lol. But seriously. I love this picture of Brian and his bong from last night's episode of Family Guy (which can be seen in full and legally on Hulu.com).

Wow... Even I'm Shocked

Okay, Wonder Showzen is terrible... Like terrible in a good way. Basically it's formatted like a kid's show but it's very VERY adult. Lol. Here are a few quotes below. Oh! And there is this horrible skit where kids cream out "funny" or "not funny" depending on whether or not some scene shown should be laughed at or not. It's just hard to describe really. You'll just have to see it here (embedding was disabled) .

"Cows are reincarnated Hindus!"

♫♪Slaves built the pyramids! Slaves built America!♫♪

"He practices (milking cows). I caught him practicing in the bathroom."

"Hey look everybody! Muslim kryponite! (pigs) Oh snap! As'salam Alaikum piggies!"

"I just wanna punch god in the face!"

"I want my innocence back."

You also see a clip called "Aunt Flo" here which also had disabled embedding (grrr!). The only clip that would allow me to embed was the one below but it's cute. I am totally downloading this entire series via PirateBay as we speak. Lol.

Little Mosque On The Prairie

So I ran across a rather strange Canadian show last night. It's called Little Mosque on the Prairie and for all intents and purposes it's pretty good. It's rather... campy. I dunno, what to call it. I've actually watched all of Season 1. Perhaps it's because it's absolutely nothing like anything I've seen before. See below report from CNN.


The show centers around a small mosque in rural Canada. There is a man and his converted wife (who is a Muslim but she's very new to it). They have a grown daughter who is a doctor and wears the hijab and is very serious about her religion. There is also a young (and pretty hot) Imam who is from Ontario. And then there's the big sassy black woman from Africa who runs a diner. They also have a controversial radio talkshow host who is always bashing the Muslims.

The good part of this show is that they don't stray away from very controversial issues, like religious conversion, religious modernism, Islamic feminism, homosexuality, religious acceptance, fanaticism, racism, and so on. However, the problem is they seem to take these issues extremely lightly and laugh about them all by the end of the episode. Nevertheless, it's consciousness raising. Best of all, it's something different than the same old Christian family.

So after watching show for a while, I liked it. It's not amazing. But it's a breathe of fresh air.

Now don't get me wrong. Anyone who reads this blog knows how anti-religious I am, but I really do love diversity. Even more than that, I love something that shows Christians that they aren't the only faith on earth and that other faiths aren't crazy (well, they're all crazy, lol).

So anywho, while watching I was thinking to myself, there's no way a show like this would be aired in the United States. Little did I know that there are talks to have it syndicated here in the states. Not only that, but I guess FOX is in talks of making an American version... which I don't understand why... can't American's understand Canadian English?

Well if you give half a shit you can watch the entire first two seasons on youtube (see here and here). I am just now finishing up the first season and the show is in it's third season now. Between Little Mosque on the Prairie, Robson Arms, and Corner Gas, I wish we had an all Canadian channel here. Why not? We've got BBC here. Why not CBC or CTV?

Like I said. It's not award winning material but it's different and it's consciousness raising. The shit here in America is just shit... pure shit. Sure, I don't like religion. But what I don't like even more is religious ignorance. And I can guarantee that if this show does get an American version, it won't last. I don't think Americans are excepting enough to see another culture on their TVs (remember Margaret Cho's television show?). I don't know why. 0.6% of Americans are Muslim. Shouldn't 0.6% of our television be about them? Below is the first part of the first episode.

Mythologies and Green Fields

Last December I got obsessed with a Nintendo DS came called Age of Empire: Mythologies, which is a Nintendo DS remake of the hit PC game. Basically it's a war game that takes place in ancient and mythological Egypt, Rome, and Scandinavia. It's stop action so you take one step at a time which gives you plenty of time to use strategy, much like Chess. I don't really know what else to say about it... besides it's amazing. Unfortunately being a stop action game, it consumes a lot of time and I've been playing it a lot once again. The other night I started playing it at 10:45pm and didn't put it down until around 4am.

Another something I've gotten back into again is Corner Gas. It's a Canadian sitcom that airs on CTV in Canada and WGN in America. Mandar and I saw a commercial for it last year and it looked absolutely stupid. We kept seeing the commercial over and over again and decided to DVR it just to see how stupid it was. And to be honest, I didn't like it the first time. But then I watched another episode (they air two at a time) and for some reason it sun.

It takes place in ficticious Dog River, Saskatchewan. I think the entire series is filmed in the last spring because every single episode (including the Christmas special) occurs during a nice sunny day. The beautiful green fields and the lovely cozy diner. It really makes you want to move to the nice and peaceful fake town. If I could move to any fake place, it'd be Dog River.

I love the charactors too. They too make you want to move there. They're so much more realistic than the plastic shit that's seen on American television. Oscar is the old grouchy man (my favorite episode with him was when he became the town's bus driver). Emma is Oscar's wife who is kinda bitchy, but in the loving motherly way. The show main charactor is Brent who owns a gas station. Basically the whole show revolves around the gas station and the diner (The Ruby) whic his attached to it.

Wanda (the most educated one there) works as the cashier at the gas station. Lacy (who is a dead ringer for Wonder Woman) runs and owns the diner next door. Hank is Brent's lazy and stupid best friend. Oh, and Karen and Davis are the town's two cops. Their hilarious relationship is also a gem in the show.

Take a lesson America. This is what we call a good show. Realistic, quarky, well-written, and most of all, cozy. Below are some great clips from the show I've found on YouTube.

Nancy Pelosi's Daughter Is One Smart Cookie!

So floating about the HBO and Showtime OnDemand Channels, I came across a couple good documentaries made by Nancy Pelosi's daughter Alexandra Pelosi. They aren't amazing but they're worth the forty minutes they each cost.

The first is called The Trails of Ted Haggard and is about what life is like for gay pastor Ted Haggard. You might be feeling a little bad for the guy for just a moment ... but then you realize, even jobless and poor as he is, he's still living a hundred times better than most people are in the world today. Not to mention, when you see him feeling bad and suicidal, just remember how many years he spent making people feel terrible about the things they were doing while he was doing the exact same thing. Perhaps Pelosi wants you to feel bad for Haggard... but I say fuck him. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck him. See trailer below.



So then there's Right America: Feeling Wrong which is just great. It's nothing but republican idiots freaking out about Obama and crying when he won. They go on and on about things like claiming he's gonna be sworn in on the Quran and that he's gonna cost all small businesses their everything. The best line in the movie was this: "There are hard working people out there, and then there are gays."First of all, everything these idiots say might seem like wacko right wing psychos but they are not. Everything they say is completely normal of the republicans I'm surrounded by and bits of the documentary are filmed only miles away from where I live. Oh, and there is also a great part where this woman goes on and on about McCain being pro-life and such. She says how important it is to have a pro-life president and that "what are we gonna do if everyone is pro-abortion and then there's nobody left on earth cos everyone got abortions." (Paraphrase) Oh yeah, cos everyone is just dying to get an abortion. Boy oh boy I wish I was a girl that way I could get pregnant and get lots and lots of abortions. They're so fun! They're like a day at the spa! *Rolls eyes*

Below is the first ten minutes of the documentary which can be seen in full on youtube. The beginning is the best part because it takes place right after Obama won and people are crying and wigging out!



So if you've got Time Warner Cable and you've got HBO, check out their OnDemand channel for some great fun. Be prepared to be very annoyed though. But just remember... Obama fucking won! WOO!

Tudors Season 3! Ahh!! April 5th!!!

Sorry, I think I just jizzed in my pants...

Check out this teaser below!

My Mental Murphy Issues

Last summer when Mel B of the Spice Girls was pregnant, I accidentally said something strange to Aurora and Mandar. I said, "Yeah, Mel B apparently just had a baby with Murphy Brown."

Aurora cocked an eye. Mandar shouted and laughed, "What!?"

Apparently Mel B had a baby with Eddie Murphy, not Murphy Brown.

So this really was just a slip of the tongue, nothing more, nothing less. I thought.

Coming to the present time, last night at my parent's house my dad happened to mention a hilarious story (to him). When I was in 2nd grade I came home and told my dad that at school I was working on a puzzle all day... of Murphy Brown. He was confused and was sure that I wasn't really doing a puzzle of Murphy Brown in the 2nd grade. He tried and tried to figure out what I was doing a puzzle of. The next day he had to go to my school and ask my teacher (notably concerned I guess). I was actually doing a puzzle of Charlie Brown.

What the fuck is wrong with me!? Why am I always thinking of Murphy Brown.

I blame CBS.

The New Definition Of Male Obesity

So I noticed that they have been airing christmas-y versions of those Mac Vs. PC commercials. I noticed that they make the cute guy itsy bitsy tiny thin and the geeky guy enormous. I wanted to know for sure exactly how much fatter they are making him. So I decided to measure the following using YouTube.

Live Action (Measured pixels at the waist)
Justin Long (Cute Mac Guy) = 56px
John Hodgman (Geeky PC Guy) = 69px

Here John is 23% percent fatter than Justin.

Christmas Animated (Measured pixels at the waist)
Justin Long (Cute Mac Guy) = 35px
John Hodgman (Geeky PC Guy) = 99px

Here John is 182% percent fatter than Justin.

So the animated version of the commercial makes John nearly eight times fatter than he is in real life to Justin. Nice. Real nice! Justin is the uber hot skinny boy that everyone loves because he's a Mac. John is the grotesque whale of a fat fuck because he's a PC. Nice! Lets exacerbate this with animation.

A Commercial I Actually Like... WTF!?

No, it's not the fucking SNUGGIE!!! I'm going to have to get dentures soon as I've gritted my teeth down to the gums in anger over that FUCKING piece of shit...

What was I saying?

Oh yeah! I love this commercial for GameStop below. It reminds me of when I realized that my step mother had came across my porn. Haha, and it was gay porn of course too. I can imagine she looked just like this woman. Unfortunately she never confronted me about it. It would have been too hilarious.

I'm Not Buying It, Michael Phelps

So, I'm fucking tired of seeing this god damned commercial with Michael "Butterface" Phelps for Rosetta Stone. First of all, he bullshits us by claiming that he wanted to learn Chinese before he went to the 2008 Olympics. Yeah right! Save for cultural submersion, it takes years to learn a language as different as Chinese. I like how you see him using the product but never hear him actually say a word in Chinese. The commercial makes it sound as if he learned to speak Chinese fluently. I was so done with Phelps like a week after the Olympics.

Final thought: Boo on Michael Phelps for being such a product whore. Boo on Rosetta Stone for being such a ... poopy head product! Oh and yes, I purposely left out his face in the image above.


Well fuck me in the ass! I dare make fun on one commercial only to see one 100 times worse. You know, you flip it over to the Science Channel and watch some great programing from astrophysicist Michio Kaku and you just expect that total bullshit might be starved off for only a moment. Oh no!

Introducing, the Snuggie!

It's like a blanket... but it has ARMS! Jesus Fucking Christ! My head exploded when I saw this thing advertised. Are you serious!? Have you never heard a of a fucking ROBE!!!! These people look like cult members. I like how they talk about how you can wear it around your house and your dorm to keep warm... like a ROBE!


Rule of thumb. If it's advertised on TV. It's bullshit!

Okay, those are fucking cult members. They are supplying death robes for the next great suicide cult.

Addendum: So every year I tend to wage war on something. This year has gone by pretty smooth. Usually I wage war on Christmas but I've been okay this year. Now, I've decided to wage WAR on the Snuggie. This guy from YouTube understands... (lol, I love the thing he says at about 7:02. He sounds just like Lewis Black).


A blanket... WITH SLEEVES!

George "Dubya" Bush & Li'l Cheney

How disturbing is this! I had MadTV on while I was cleaning the house and this video came on from an old episode back in 2000. Ugh, Dick Cheney is a creeper.


Almost as disturbing, here is a more recent MadTV video about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Isn't This Format Getting Old?

Okay, so after one long rant about a lack of originality here is another. Fox is coming out with yet another show from Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy. Now normally, I would have nothing but great things to say about him. He's an open atheist. He's extremely liberal. He's very pro-gay rights. He's funnier than hell. And he created Family Guy (as well as does the voice of Peter, Brian, and Stewie).

Well to begin with, Family Guy is very much a bit of a rip of the Simpson, however Seth managed to take the format and totally make it his own. Grade A there. Then he created American Dad which is to say the least, okay. To be honest, the only time I ever really laughed was when Stan was stoned at a 7/11 and said, "Why is there a leopard on this bag of Cheetos?"

So then I heard that there was going to be yet another show from Seth at Fox; a spin-off of Family Guy called The Cleveland Show. Now, I love Cleveland. He's one of my favorite characters so I had real hope and to be honest I will still probably love the show. But seriously, Seth! Get a new format! Do we really need the following in every show?

1) Silly often stupid father
2) Sexy MILF of a mother
3) Teenage daughter with headband/hat
4) Younger son with identity/weight issues
5) Quirky feminine Infant/Alien
6) Talking pet

I swear, Peter's wife Lois and Cleveland's new wife look like they're body doubles with a different skin tone! Again, I'll probably watch it and love it. But serious, Seth! Seriousy!?

Is Anything Original Anymore?

So last night Mandar and I watched the first episode of The Legend of the Seeker. It's a new fantasy show on WGN America that looked like it would have some potential. We had DVR'ed it and had it sitting on there for a while. Now, first of all the show is based on the Sword of Truth novels by Terry Goodkind. There are currently 11 novels in the series which means that if the show does good it could be on for a while.

To start with, the show began with this long chase scene with some girl and her sister. Her sister dies and then the one girl opens up a magic portal with some magic stone thingy. It's okay to start. The very next seen we see the protagonist "Richard Cypher" wearing hardly anything at all, making a bridge.

Now to start, he is quite gorgeous but the problem is that it is so obvious that they had to throw in a shot of him shirtless and stretching right in the beginning to keep the interest of women and queers. I wasn't swayed. In fact, I was a little offended that they would be so blatant with their gratuitous semi-nudity.

This whole thing seemed kinda familiar. I was reminder of a scene from the Eragon movie where it's lead hot protagonist shares a less than one minute scene meant only to show him removing his shirt and showing of his hairless and firm body. Nice to look at. But completely gratuitous.

So then the show started to progress. The majority of the plot is pretty nondescript and quite generic. I love how Richard can suddenly slow down as he jumps in the air to attack thought. Very realistic.

Later in the show the girl is gone and the bad guys are trying to find the boy (who manages to keep his shirt on throughout the rest of the show). Richard apparently wants to know more about the girl, and his father tells him to talk to the strange and mysterious man who's been mysteriously around ever since he was born ::cough cough, star wars. cough cough::.

So he goes up and then meets the old man and the girl. There is some arguing and then it's revealed that Richard is the 'seeker' or 'the chosen one.' The girl has this book which is written in another language and Richard says, "I can't read this." She responds, "Look again, the chosen one can read it." He looks again and says, "Oh, I can!" Wow, can I have some wine with that cheese? I'm honestly amazed that the actors can keep a straight face saying these lines.

The lines are so terrible that I had trouble paying attention. I thought, give it time, it'll get better. It didn't, in fact, it got way worse. We learn about this evil bad guy named Darken Rahl. I'm sorry, but if your name is Darken, then you're just destined to be an evil lord. Seriously? Darken Rahl?

At some point the old wizard guy tells Richard that his father isn't really his father. Apparently there was a prophecy of some sort and he doesn't know who his real father is (remember this little fact for later in the post).

So like the archetypal reluctant protagonist, Richard decides that he just can't be 'the chosen one' or the 'seeker' so he leaves and goes home to live a peaceful normal life. Oh no! His home is being burned down and his father ends up dying. Oh no! His father confesses on his death bed that he isn't really his father. Oh no! Who ever saw that coming!?

The rest of the episode is pretty much just Richard deciding that he has to live out his destiny as the seeker that way the prophecy comes true and such. Snore.

This morning I hadn't totally given up on The Legend of the Seeker. I was kinda curious if there was any fan art of Richard Cypher to see if this stud playing him looked like he was described in the book. I typed in 'Richard Cypher' into Google and clicked on the Wikipedia link which had him down as "Richard Rahl (aka Richard Cypher)." Apparently sometime in the 11 books, Darken Rahl (evil bad guy) is revealed to be Richard Cypher's father!!!

Are you fucking kidding me? Is there anything out there that hasn't ripped off Star Wars or Lord of the Rings? I thought Eragon was bad! The problems with Eragon and Legend of the Seeker are so bad that I don't even know where to begin. So here's a nice little chart.

What is so annoying is that both authors of Eragon and Legend of the Seeker have openly stated that they were inspired by Star Wars. What the fuck! If you're gonna steal the plot from a movie, don't call it your greatest inspiration!

So I give up on Legend of the Seeker. The only good thing it has to offer is an attractive guy playing the lead role, but I can just as easily look up images of him without wasting my time watching the show. Thankfully there are a few things out there that are original. Harry Potter may have borrowed scenery and themes, but it's main plot is original and new. Even more original is the His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman. I shall cling to them, along with Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings, as the original originals. For every penny shelled out for the piles of plagiarized filth of The Legend of the Seeker and the Eragon series, I die a little inside.